MAF's Official Lionheart Impressions - ARHGHGHHGHG

The whole lack of Internet thing has left me without the valuable resource of OPINION. Which is why I fell for the big prank called Lionheart. Last I saw was some random thread on the forum that said HEY LIONHEART rocks and I looked at the box and was more amazed that it was already out. So anyway I fell victim to the black isle logo on the box and the pretty water paintings on the screenshots.

So damnit I bought it with some trade in credit (which makes it less hurtful) and I head home hopeful for an RPG at least on par with KOTOR. What do I get?

Well first off, wtf kind of game does it wanna be? Diablo? Torment? Baldur’s Gate II? CHOOSE! The mix of gameplay in Lionheart just mashes against itself. Combat is confusing and boring at the same time. Oh yay hack hack hack. Wait, bg2 used the same animations but it got by because the battles had strategy. You know, the stuff that makes the brain work during fights.

Then we have the character creation thing. Wow 4 races, that’s cool. Woah wait, I can change their hair and shirt?! Awesome! No Portrait?! WTF! I was telling drinky crow last night how important it is in an RPG to have some sort of image to identify with. Console RPGs tends to have large enough models so detail can be seen. PC RPGs largely depend on portraits, and this game gives portraits to stupid guards but not ME! The potential savior of mankind? Jesus!

I also get the feeling the music is as bored with the game as I am. It pops in and out for no reason, plays a short tune, then sorta goes away to play Icewind Dale II or something. The rest of the sound is ok I guess. The Voice acting feels decidedly generic. While the sarcastic sidekick in torment was funny, the sarcastic spirit you can be possessed with in Lionheart is just annyoing. I hate his voice, I hate his attitude. he isn’t funny or clever, just very british. Awesome work, You made me hate the NPC I have to stick with the whole game. Bitchin!

Oh and hey, ever wanna feel like a black man in the 50’s? Play this game as a magic ‘tainted’ player character. Everyone hates you and spits on you or attacks you for no reason. Yay for oppression! I also like that in most cases you can do nothing about it, or you face an untimely death, which is made even more untimely by the fact that you cant count on the autosave to AUTOSAVE when you NEED it to. Hey player, I autosaved like 4 hours ago when you went into an empty house. I love feeling powerless even tho I choose the character that is supposedly known for being a butt-kicker!

I mean they give you dialogue options to DIE! Yes, you can say mean stuff and be a jerk but you’ll die! Oh yes real life consequences are fun and hell that’s WHY I PLAY VIDEOGAMES! TO DIE A LOT AND FACE CONSEQUENCES!

The entire ‘experience’ feels unfinished. Ambient Noises do nothing but provide a big neon arrow to the lack of any FEELING in this game. Once a person gets past the OH I JUST TALKED TO A FAMOUS OLD GUY factor they start to realize that their interaction with that character was boring and largely something you will never remember ever again.

Oh, and who’s bright idea was it to make magic casting the right mouse button as default? HEY NEW PLAYER WE ARE PUTTING YOU IN A CITY WHERE YOU GET KILLED IF YOU USE ANY MAGIC! SO hey, YOU CAN USE MAGIC BY EVER SO LIGHTLY TAPPING THE RIGHT MOUSE BUTTON! HEY DONT TOUCH IT! OH NO THE BATTLE IS HECTIC AND CONFUSING AND YOU JUST CAST MAGIC YOU DIE! YEAH!

Haha god there was one part at the start where I was OUTSIDE the city and I accidently cast magic in sight of the guards and they chased me off the screen. Then when I tried to re-enter a REQUIRED AREA FOR GAME ADVANCEMENT they were all waiting right where I spawned and killed me. OF COURSE AUTOSAVE REMEMBERED TO SAVE THIS TIME. So I was screwed cause my only save this early in the game was an autosave that made sure to record the 5 seconds before I got slaughtered by racists spanish guards.

You know what’s really funny tho. I have probably had more fun with that arkanoid clone they packaged with lionheart than the GAME I PAID FOR! WTF!!!

Too many Caps. Brain hurts.

Until I get my own ISP again you might as well just pretend im from AOL.

MrAngryFace has spoken and that is all I need to know whether or not I’ll buy Lionheart: NO WAY! Just looking at his review makes me angry and want to fire up Dynasty Warriors 4 and beat shit up. Which reminds me, anyone know when Dynasty Warriors 4: Xtreme is coming out?

Argh, I cant tell if you are being serious or sarcastic! I’ve been away from the net too long!

Serious.

It’s not you. As an English Major, I’m taught to write ambivalently so as to make the reader question everything.

Based on your review, I’m thinking your character’s portrait just had a really angry face.

Yeah in Age of Wonders: Shadow Magic, which is godly by the way, you can import pictures for portraits I believe. I should use my angry face avatar from gaming-age haha.

Arkanoid clone? Do tell!

  • Alan

Its actually pretty damned fun, I was playing it this morning. I forget the exact name, it does have ‘extreme’ in it yuk but even so the later levels get pretty crazy with all sorts of modifiers.

Playing Divine Divinity again. A lot of fun and it does some basic user friendly things right: ALT key highlights loot! Annotatable automap! You can pause and target enemies! You can change resolutions! Why on earth someone would put out an RPG costing $50 without these features is beyond me! Of course, Lionheart is really a budget game in disguise.

It’s Ricochet Extreme, and it’s a great little time waster. Reflexive should stick to Arkanoid clones, IMO, as they seem to have nailed this one fairly well :D

Maybe they packaged the game wrong… instead of buying lionheart and getting that clones game free you were suppose to buy the clones game and get lionheart free…

It’s very possible.

Don’t forget the ingenious option to auto-target the enemy closest to your cursor by pressing and holding the Ctrl key. This is perfect for ranged attacks and completely eliminates stupid gameplay elements like having to click precisely on little, fast-moving enemies just to start firing at them. I’m sure Diablo III will steal this feature.

Heh…good one.

I’ll probably be buying this game when it hits the 29.99 mark, somewhere. The demo wasn’t so bad. Though, the combat really does need the ability to issue orders while paused. I STILL don’t understand why this wasn’t implemented (time, money, too hard, lazy!!!). Iirc this game is using the same engine that was used for that Star Trek Commando’s 2d game. Even that game’s combat was more manageable…based on the demo that is…

There was Soldiers of Anarchy that patched with a pause with command option. I take it the devs of Lionheart lost all there heart… harhar! get it? they have no heart for the game anymore. like its a burden and they might as well chalk it up as a middling crpg of a late summer release type thing, best move on, forget about it. Yes. Its okay.

etc