Make the next movie Tom will prepend "Fuck" to

http://www.chucklehound.com/cgi-bin/pages/boo.html

This is a neat little web toy. Let’s see what you zombie-obsessed hacks can come up with. Here’s mine, a $50 million profit-maker.

When Harry Met Ender: The Potter-Wiggin Apocalypse (PG-13)
(Adventure/Fantasy)
Starring Daniel Radcliffe and Rachel Weisz
Also Featuring Samuel L. Jackson, Derek Jacobi, Cameron Diaz, and Maggie Gyllenhaal
Directed by Peter Jackson
Screenplay by Peter Jackson and J.K. Rowling

Projected Budget Range: $80-89 Million
Planned Release Date: July

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$23.32 million (Opening Weekend)
$136.97 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 13%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: Slim to None

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Ron Wells, Film Threat
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Matthew Abrams, Chucklehound.com

Super Happy Yu-Gi-Oh Man (PG-13)
(Animation/Paranoia/Talking Animal)
Starring Tommy Lee Jones and Julianne Moore
Also Featuring Derek Jacobi, Ian McKellen, Kathy Bates, and Helen Mirren
Directed by Lasse Hallström
Screenplay by M. Night Shyamalan

Projected Budget Range: $70-79 Million
Planned Release Date: January

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$13.72 million (Opening Weekend)
$70.48 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 12%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: 2%

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Kevin Thomas, Los Angeles Times
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Chris Gore, Film Threat

Napolean and Gengis Khan vs. the Martians (PG-13)
(Buddy Cop/Historical Epic/Sci-Fi)
Starring Ewan McGregor and Sandra Bullock
Also Featuring Rowan Atkinson and Bridget Fonda
Directed by Joel Schumacher
Screenplay by M. Night Shyamalan

Projected Budget Range: $50-59 Million
Planned Release Date: August

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$14.25 million (Opening Weekend)
$81.35 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 5%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: 1%

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Ron Wells, Film Threat
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Michael O’Sullivan, Washington Post

Since it’s for Tom after all:

Minority Report 2 (PG-13)
(Adventure/Sci-Fi)
Starring Tom Cruise and Natalie Portman
Also Featuring Samuel L. Jackson, John Rhys-Davies, and Jessica Capshaw
Directed by Steven Spielberg
Screenplay by Stephen Sommers

Projected Budget Range: $140-149 Million
Planned Release Date: May

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$17.32 million (Opening Weekend)
$112.37 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 3%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: 1%

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Ron Wells, Film Threat
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Rita Kempley, Washington Post

M. Night Shamalyan’s Shanghai Jedi Knights (PG-13)
(Adventure/Fantasy)
Starring Jackie Chan and Natalie Portman
Also Featuring Samuel L. Jackson and Christopher Lee
Directed by M. Night Shyamalan
Screenplay by M. Night Shyamalan

Projected Budget Range: $120-129 Million
Planned Release Date: June

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$21.92 million (Opening Weekend)
$131.10 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 1%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: Slim to None

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Ron Wells, Film Threat
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: A.O. Scott, New York Times

King Lupid and I have always wanted to make this movie…not a bad return investment.

Amazombies ®
(Horror/Action)
Starring George Clooney and Naomi Watts
Also Featuring Samuel L. Jackson, Brian Cox, Katie Holmes, and Heather Graham
Directed by John Woo
Screenplay by Peter Jackson and Bobby Farrelly

Projected Budget Range: $20-29 Million
Planned Release Date: October

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$14.51 million (Opening Weekend)
$65.26 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 4%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: Slim to None

Critic Most Likely to Praise: The Self-Made Critic, The Brunching Shuttlecocks
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Rita Kempley, Washington Post

I’m going for the ‘Least Original Title/Most Original Plot’ Oscar:

Movie (PG-13)
(Mystery/Paranoia/Revenge Fantasy/Talking Animal)
Starring Dennis Quaid and Helen Hunt
Also Featuring Orlando Bloom, Willem Dafoe, Kathy Bates, and Emily Watson
Directed by Steven Spielberg
Screenplay by Steven Kloves and Rhett Reese

Projected Budget Range: $100-109 Million
Planned Release Date: October

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$15.72 million (Opening Weekend)
$94.12 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 10%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: 3%

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Jack Garner, Rochester Democrat and Chronicle
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Ron Wells, Film Threat

Another one for Tom:

Requiem for a Royal Tenenbaum ®
(Drugs/Comedy)
Starring Gene Hackman and Ellen Burstyn
Also Featuring Jared Leto and Gwyneth Paltrow
Directed by Ridley Scott
Screenplay by John Logan

Projected Budget Range: $50-59 Million
Planned Release Date: March

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$12.65 million (Opening Weekend)
$56.08 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 11%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: 3%

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Ron Wells, Film Threat
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Michael O’Sullivan, Washington Post

[b]Worshipping Cleve /b
(Family/Paranoia/Revenge Fantasy/Hostage Drama)
Starring Mel Gibson and Helena Bonham Carter
Also Featuring Cedric the Entertainer, Christopher Walken, Kathy Bates, and Maggie Gyllenhaal
Directed by John Singleton
Screenplay by Ethan Coen and Joel Coen

Projected Budget Range: $40-49 Million
Planned Release Date: August

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$14.23 million (Opening Weekend)
$60.83 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 3%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: 1%

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Jack Garner, Rochester Democrat and Chronicle
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Rita Kempley, Washington Post

[b]Fuck Star Wars /b
(Midlife Crisis/Amnesia)
Starring Adam Sandler and Angelina Jolie
Also Featuring Luis Guzmán, James Spader, Carrie-Anne Moss, and Sigourney Weaver
Directed by David Mamet
Screenplay by David Mamet and Charlie Kaufman

Projected Budget Range: $20-29 Million
Planned Release Date: November

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$9.49 million (Opening Weekend)
$42.52 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 5%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: Slim to None

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Elvis Mitchell, New York Times

The Return of the King (PG-13)
(Fantasy)
Starring Elijah Wood
Also Featuring Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortensen, Cate Blanchett, and Liv Tyler
Directed by Peter Jackson
Screenplay by Philippa Boyens and J.R.R. Tolkien

Projected Budget Range: $90-99 Million
Planned Release Date: December

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$21.77 million (Opening Weekend)
$175.79 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 27%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: Slim to None

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Lou Lumenick, New York Post
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Matthew Abrams, Chucklehound.com

The Most Respected Thinker On This Board ®
(Lingering Illness/Paranoia)
Starring Mike Myers and Anna Faris
Also Featuring Derek Jacobi, Jimmy Smits, Kathy Bates, and Maggie Smith
Directed by Ron Howard
Screenplay by William Broyles Jr.

Projected Budget Range: $40-49 Million
Planned Release Date: September

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$15.29 million (Opening Weekend)
$94.68 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 16%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: 10%

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Chris Gore, Film Threat
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Gene Seymour, Newsday

Micropayments (PG-13)
(Caper Comedy/Office Politics/Hacker/Music Industry)
Starring David Arquette and Jenna Elfman
Also Featuring Jon Bon Jovi, Tom Arnold, Brittany Murphy, and Jill Hennessy
Directed by Woody Allen
Screenplay by Alexander Payne and Bobby Farrelly

Projected Budget Range: $40-49 Million
Planned Release Date: August

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$11.57 million (Opening Weekend)
$49.07 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 1%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: Slim to None

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Ron Wells, Film Threat
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Rita Kempley, Washington Post

Troy

This thing is fun!

Love of the Chicken Heads (R)
(Adventure/Caper Comedy/Hostage Drama/Office Politics)
Starring Ben Stiller and Natalie Portman
Also Featuring Tom Hanks, Steve Buscemi, Maggie Smith, and Christina Applegate
Directed by Ridley Scott
Screenplay by Luc Besson and Woody Allen

Projected Budget Range: $130-139 Million
Planned Release Date: June

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$18.98 million (Opening Weekend)
$119.31 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 7%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: 2%

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Ron Wells, Film Threat
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Padgett Arango, Chucklehound.com

Bling a Ring Ding in a Hockey Rink (PG)
(Animation/Chase/Comic Book/Fantasy)
Starring Kevin Bacon and Reese Witherspoon
Also Featuring Samuel L. Jackson, Ian McKellen, Cameron Diaz, and Emily Watson
Directed by Sam Raimi
Screenplay by Ice Cube and Philip K. Dick

Projected Budget Range: $40-49 Million
Planned Release Date: March

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$9.87 million (Opening Weekend)
$83.23 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 2%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: Slim to None

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Ron Wells, Film Threat
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Elvis Mitchell, New York Times

Bowling for Ewoks ®
(Hard Hitting Documentary)
Starring Verne Troyer and Carrie Fisher
Also Featuring Marlon Brando, Marcus Chong, Miguel Ferrer, and Estelle Warren
Directed by Robert Rodriguez and George Lucas
Screenplay by George Lucas and Joe Eszterhas

Projected Budget Range: $120-129 Million
Planned Release Date: “When it’s done”

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$89.49 million (Opening Weekend)
$242.52 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 87%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: Derek Smart money says, “Yep”

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Harry Knowles, Ain’t It Cool News
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times & Todd McCarthy, Variety

Blow Sh*t Up (PG-13)
(Revenge Fantasy/Comedy/Crime)
Starring Jack Black and Eliza Dushku
Also Featuring Christopher Walken, Seann William Scott, Thora Birch, and Lucy Liu
Directed by Robert Rodriguez
Screenplay by Bobby Farrelly and Peter Farrelly

Projected Budget Range: $60-69 Million
Planned Release Date: July

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$14.58 million (Opening Weekend)
$67.65 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 2%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: Slim to None

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Jay Carr, Boston Globe
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Chris Gore, Film Threat