Because it’s interesting, silly. At least, parts of it are.
Fair enough, let’s not break out the nails just yet. But this always seems to boil down to who gets to define what crappy behavior is. Some folks want it loose and wide-ranging with no sacred cows, some folks are so afraid of offending someone that they edit themselves into blandness to avoid any possible negative interpretation.
And then there’s the group that enjoy imposing their will on people by claiming any and all possible offense to feed their sense of self-satisfaction and elevation above the rabble. I think we saw all of those types (and more) in high school, and life sadly mirrors that culture because all of those conflicting human personalities shape every human institution.
It’s exhausting to contemplate, but that’s what we are trying to navigate here.
Sidebar: I’m told that in real life people can find my demeanor intimidating, but that’s not on purpose. But in my personal life, I try to start nice and get prickly as needed as a way to compensate for my up-front negatives (i.e., lack of cuddly). Live and learn.
Now that I’m past the half-century mark and long past the point where I was uncomfortable in my own skin, not only do I know who I am, I’m cool with who I am. Among my handful of guiding principles are honesty above all,* fuck 'em if they can’t take a joke, don’t blame your problems on others, and respect is earned. Once you know that stuff, I’m predictable.
*I make a point of never saying anything behind someone’s back that I won’t say to their face. But then, I’m known for not editing what I’ll say to your face, either, so brace for impact.
High school, really? I associate them with college and grad school.
Small high school, eh?
More like DUMB high school. hee hee hee
My position is, this has to be everyone’s decision for themselves. I’m looking at what I can do to try to be a more positive influence on these parts in my own way. I don’t want this to be a question of moderation. Or if it is, that’s out of my hands, totally different topic.
Anyway look, we’re not going to solve peace in the Middle East here. I mean it’s a discussion forum, disagreements are baked into the recipe! It’s no fun if we can’t argue. But maybe how we go about that can be improved. I don’t always get it right, and I’m ok with being called on it. Then again, I have fairly thick skin, so I don’t claim to speak for anyone else. So I’ll do what I can to try to discuss and argue, but keep it all above the belt, no clinches. See where it gets me.
I think that’s as much as anyone can ask.
I think it’s not only possible but fair to ask our community not to assume that because women and minorities talk about issues that are associated with being women and minorities that somehow they are deficit in life.
In what world would making an assumption like that lead to a a positive outcome?
Objection, assumes facts not in evidence.
Diversity must allow for different viewpoints; trying to put differences and disagreements under the rug is not working for diversity - it’s actually working against it. The key is 1) knowing that different people have different experiences, viewpoints, opinions and expectations, 2) trying to understand other people’s viewpoints (and then act according to any gained insight), 3) be mature enough to know when to agree to disagree, and 4) make the maximum effort to treat others with respect, kindness, but also honesty.
Additionally, I feel compelled to mention the Ian Malcolm principle: are we so preoccupied with whether or not we could that we didn’t stop to think if we should?
Back to your original example here… you bring up Mass Effect Andromeda. I get that some people like the game, but when the general consensus opinion of not only reviewers but also the public at large is rather negative, why would there be an expectation of finding anything other than being an outlier and having folks possibly argue the merits of the game (or lack thereof)? You seemed to want that person to post to essentially start an argument you could back them up in the thread! Why?
I’m not at all depressed by their inability to post in that thread if they couldn’t accept that they have an outlier opinion. Do you have any idea how often I’ve had an outlier opinion on this board and been piled on over and over again? It’s part of what messageboards are about. You either accept it or you don’t post. I took some time off and didn’t post because I got sick of it. Nowadays it’s a little different for me here as I’m not the lone voice in the wilderness, but when I was, it sometimes sucked but that’s just the way a forum works.
I’m totally on board with being welcoming to people of all faiths, races, creeds, etc. except the Nazis. I hate those guys. Realistically though, video games are often “serious business” so you kinda might have an opinion a lot of people on this board may not agree with. Life goes on.
Kind of OT, but there’s a bit in that book I’ve remembered for years. Basically, that a man who’s spent his life learning martial arts will generally not use the power he has spent so many years developing recklessly because he respects and understands the power. Whereas a guy who picks up a gun may not respect the power he now possesses and can’t be trusted to use it wisely because it’s unearned power. That left an impression.
Every goddamn time I mention how much I like Andromeda I also point out that mine is the minority opinion. I’m not having difficulty accepting a single fucking thing. If you continually feel the need to point out that every reviewer feels differently then I guess I’ll just continue to tune you out.
I still maintain that if MEA had been anything but a Mass Effect game it would have reviewed better. Well, non-bug wise anyway.
Yeah it’s a fact. It’s right there.
If you approach women talking about women issues while also enjoying their hobbies as some sort of deficit to their life, you’re going to come off at hostile. Maybe that’s a want, but why would women enter a hostile place that is hostile because there is this unwritten rule that says if they bring a tiny portion of what makes them them into the space suddenly someone is going to treat them as less than?
JMJ didn’t mention any particular sub-group. Nor is manipulative behavior limited to any particular sub-group.
From my own HS example upthread, I was thinking in particular about a girl named Christina who would take every opportunity to let me and my friends know that our manners and tone were beneath her and her class of friends.
Except that I wasn’t talking about “women and women issues,” but about people who enjoy complaining, as a quick scan of the thread will make plain. (As it happens, the vast majority of such people hereabouts are white men.)
Well you were involved in the other topic, so you must know part of the reason this topic exists is because of the question of women participating, or not participating on this forum despite the fact women absolutely enjoy these games and run across this site too.
You can’t assume that because someone is sharing with a like minded-community something about themselves that somehow their deficit. Why would anyone assume that? And also, how would that not come off as hostile?
You need to stop making it someone else’s problem when you misread or misunderstand their post.
I’m not sure what you mean by that. He’s making an assumption that if someone “fights a good fight” or discusses something passionately I guess he doesn’t agree with that somehow they don’t have a real life place to do that. He says it right there. Why would assuming someone is lacking that sort of engagement in real life be a good thing?
You tell me, what do you think he means by “fights a good fight?” Is that on social issues perhaps?