Marketing, 2003 Edition

Wow.

Is it just me or is this card wanting to blow me?

Reads like it’s been through the Dialectizer.

I think it means that buying this card will make women want to blow you. Unless you’re a woman, in which case it will turn you into a lesbian.

oh my, so what happens if you’re a lesbian?

Mmm…sweet, sweet lesbians…

I wonder if the person who wrote that actually has a marketing degree. I suspect he does.

I think it means that buying this card will make women want to blow you. Unless you’re a woman, in which case it will turn you into a lesbian.[/quote]

Well I don’t want my wife using that damn card! Now if it would turn her bi-…

I think it’s time for a trip to the doctor for gender reassignment surgery so you can get blown. By the card. Or women. I’m not sure which.

better wait for the 10500 to come out

Congratulations, steve, you finally registered!

Slow day at the office?

This is part of the VisonTek rebranding after they were bought. There was that whole flash movie with a guy flamethrowerizing the Nvidia demo fairy when they first announced they were “switching” to ATI because it ROXORs. They’re obviously trying to capitalize on the key cross sector of Nvidia disillusionists and “biotch, make me a samwich!” proponents.

ATI’s TRUFORM™ technology makes heaving orbs more ample and well-endowed… while HYPER Z™ II saves bandwidth for mo’ righteous performance in your more demanding sit-e’ations…

Ok, so I understand that TUFORM makes da boobies bigger. But I’m not sure if i would benefit from the HYPER Z because I have no idea what a sit-e’ation is. I may have one, and if I do I’m sure it would love the mo’righteous performance, but how do I know for sure?

Site-e’ation = citation? Does this mean the card will pay off even my highest of speeding tickets?

Has anyone read Stephen Hawkings’s latest book? In it he turns to creationism and SLAPS THAT PIG DOWN, SAYS “GIMME MY’ MONEY BI-A-TCH!”

Man, it looks like a nice card, but I can’t take any company that butchers the English language like this seriously. Who runs this company, a bunch of h0axors?

Freak’n KICK ASS performance
Xtasy powered by ATI’s RADEON™ 9500 PRO VPU with 128MB DDR memory WILL BLOW YOU… AWAY! ATI’s TRUFORM™ technology makes heaving orbs more ample and well-endowed… while HYPER Z™ II saves bandwidth for mo’ righteous performance in your more demanding sit-e’ations… ATI’s SMOOTHVISION, anti-aliasing, KICKS THE CRAP out of ‘visual distortion,’ and sends that BI-A-TCH crying home to mama! That means better, smoother looking images. HI-RES 32-bit, 3D gaming up to 2048x1536 means that when ‘intense applications’ leaves his house… THE 9500 SLAPS THAT PIG DOWN, SAYS “GIMME MY’ MONEY BI-A-TCH!”

It’s good to see that Billy “wicked” Wilson is still finding work.