Okay, so things are happening in the story writing that I’m kind of enjoying, and now I’m wondering if I should have taken my Main Player Character more seriously, because I was playing Saints Row – you know, crashing through the storyline like a Pamplona bull with my character carefully engineered for MAXIMUM RIDICULOUSITY – while Firaxis was actually trying to write a Marvel movie. My bad, Firaxis, but I’ll take the story seriously next time around, on my Good playthrough.
So I had a quest to change my haircut, which was a tight buzzcut. I briefly toyed with getting the same haircut as Captain Marvel, who I’m dating, in case I haven’t told you yet. We’re kind of an item. But I decided that was too creepy, too Single White Female. So instead, I took the Glorious Weird Al Locks:
I’m also wearing civilian clothes that might imply I’m a superhero. Pretty sneaky, huh? People see me dressed this way and they wonder, “Does he just support superheroes, or is he actually one himself?” Little do they know, although I’m John or Jim or James Hunter or something by day, by night I become The Hunter:
Because I’ve decided this is my Evil playthrough, I’m going for full-on Dark Points. I’m doing it backwards from other games. Normally, your first playthrough of a game is Good so you don’t miss out on the cool things that non-dick characters get from NPCs: better swords, rumors about optional dungeons, healing spells, free drinks at the tavern, church rep, paladin support, that sort of thing. Then for your second playthrough, you go the evil route to see what fun things you could have done the first time around if you hadn’t been busy making everyone like you. Now you’re free to kick all the puppies and see if the game will let you kill kids and NPC vendors.
Which is what this playthrough is, where I’m committed to taking the Dark Points/Evil choice in every dialogue. This gets me in a lot of arguments with Captain Marvel. I’m getting a ton of -1 Heart penalties when we chat, and plus there’s this new Steve guy who showed up, and he’s also really not into me doing Evil playthrough dialogue options, so even though he’s always all smiles and inspirational speeches and playful armchucks and fatherly “son, just don’ts”, I don’t think he likes me much. I mean, just look at the stink-eye dude is giving me:
In fact, I’m pretty sure he’s jealous of me, because he’s always hanging out with Captain Marvel, and the other day they were sitting in the fireplace area, just the two of them all cozy like, and talking and they both totally ignored me when I was just standing there because I had to ask Captain Marvel where we keep the food in this castle, because I was hungry, but she just ignored me and kept chatting with “Steve”, so I finally just walked away, and went to bed because there weren’t any club meetings that night and I had already petted the skinless dog.
Also, it’s really annoying how everyone calls him “Steve”, like he’s the greatest thing on Earth, when it would be a lot funnier if we called him Mister Rogers and made sweater jokes, but when I do it, no one laughs. Anyway, I had a quest to earn a friendship level with “Steve” and I just flat-out didn’t do the quest and now Carol is all -1 Heart because you don’t like “Steve” and -1 Heart because I said something about “the power of darkness blah blah blah” that she apparently didn’t like and -1 Heart because I accused her of still holding a torch for Marv L., whoever he is, and -1 Heart because I keep asking her who’s handsomer, me or “Steve”, and -1 Heart because of this, that, or the other. I even gave her my best gift, which was a legendary rarity copy of an early X-Men issue that probably would have earned me a ton of Friendship Points with Magik or Peter, but I gave it to her instead because that’s what a boyfriend should do and she only liked it for something like four measly points, which is the same amount she liked the grass-scented candle I gave her.
Also, not to keep going on about this “Steve” guy, but Nico and Magik won’t shut up about how he’s got a nice butt or whatever, and two things. First of all, I don’t mean to brag, but I do about a hundred squats a day because I’m The Hunter and I have to do a lot of jumping and running up staircases and steep inclines, so if we’re talking about anyone’s butt, it should be mine. And second of all, Captain America’s but is NOT all that. I looked just because they wouldn’t shut up about it:
“America’s ass”, my foot.
And don’t even get me started about how Blade keeps dropping little hints about wanting to hook up with Captain Marvel, even though he totally knows I like her and I found her first. I mean, of all the guys here, you’d think Blade would be supportive of the unique challenges I face trying to do an Evil playthrough while Captain Marvel is my girlfriend. And yet here he is with his little passive-aggressive cockblocking comments about “Do I think Carol could ever love a half-vampire?”
So anyway, yeah, the main storyline. Huh. Interesting.
Oh yeah, before I forget, here’s a picture of me earning yet another -1 Heart with Captain Marvel because “I didn’t protect her from Venom’s boss attack”, as if there was anything I could do!
I mean, look at dumbass Blade back there not protecting her either, and does he get a -1 Heart? It’s not easy dating a superhero. Besides, when he put her down, she just did this:
Honestly, it’s not like she needs my help. Anyway, things are going well and the main storyline is looking up, but I wish this “Steve” guy would get his own superhero group instead of horning in on mine.
I mean, get a load of this guy. Sheesh.