Maurice Clarett arrested after highway chase

Oh man, so sad

My favorite quote:

“The arrest will not affect his status with the team.”

The Mahoning Valley Hitmen?

Sad indeed.


And possibly ironic considering the 4 weapons and kevlar vest he was arrested with. I like how Clarett calls the coach at 1:00am and again at 2:30am and the coach is totally down with this.

Good thing he sued the NFL for early draft entry.

He was driving near the house of a woman set to testify against him!? WTF? Was he planning to kill her? This guy needs to be locked up for a LONG time.

Officers said they also found a partially full bottle of vodka following the arrest, but no breath test was given because there was no indication he was intoxicated, Woods said. On the console, a police photo shows, was a compact disc of children’s songs recorded by prison inmates.

Also visible in the picture is a lint roller. I’m guessing that means Maurice owns a dog, since he really, really doesn’t strike me as a cat person.

He’s not the brightest bulb in da house, eh?

Tsk. Stereotyping in a situation like this? I have 6 cats in my house (6!!!) and no dogs. And I wear kevlar everywhere.

Stereotyping or no, cat people almost always contract out hits. On the rare occasions that they personally commit murder, it’s only after Mr. Bond has been sufficiently incapacitated for a verbal tete-a-tete before commencing with an elaborate death trap.