MC Hammer's blog

He blogs about as well as he raps.

You can’t touch this.

Needs more girls with pumps and a bump.

Please Hammer, don’t hurt me.

dance in my pants and in your face
yeah my rap is a disgrace
but i can daaaance
i got sun i got shine
move back hardcore cuz im goin for mine
did i mention before that i can daaaaance

wacky d is in tha house
wacky d is in tha house

Anyone who signs off “Hammertime” is bound to be respected by many.

I’m tempted to ask him if he thinks that KFC “Dance for popcorn chicken, Hammer!” commercial officially killed his career.

I thought he went bankrupt. He’s got a brand new Hummer in those pics.

I gotta think that it had something to do with 2 Legit 2 Quit. James Taylor, at the beginning of the video: “Be strong, Godson, for the gloved one is no sucka!”

While other hip-hop artists were getting into beefs, throwing down the dogs in fast-food parking lots, and getting shot and stuff, Hammer was trying to test his chops on Michael Jackson.

Getting dissed in Humpty Dance didn’t help, either.

Yeah he went in to bankruptcy but I guess he’s still got some bling the creditors couldn’t take - maybe an OJ Simpson pension fund?

Heh. I prefer 3rd Bass’ multiple Hammer disses.

“Does Hammer get the gas face? Hammer gets the gas face.”

“Yo, MC Hammer: shut the fuck up.

Seriously. You know things is tough when even the group that is a limpy, cane-weilding wigger, an elvis costello impersonator, and a black dude who’s whiter than Bryant Gumbel is busting snaps on your ass.

I DID like Pop Goes the Weasel, though. Word to your mother’s uncle.

You can diss Mr. Hammer all you want, wisenheimers, but check out these lyrics from a new song of his that he posted on that very blog:

That was so devastating and yet is so ironic/
I’m geographically isolated to the point I want to vomit

This is pure genius.

I feel “like MC Hammer on crack” is not a diss.

I think it’s nice that some celebrities have the same kind of relaxing, boring weblogs as normal people. He’s got pictures of his kid, he’s got pictures that someone took where he probably thought he looked cool, he throws a little bit of himself out there, but not as a celebrity. He’s just some dude, he’s not magical, he was larger than life and now he’s back down to size, and he takes time for fans. What’s not to like? 3rd Bass probably doesn’t have time for their fans, what with running the Coat Check at Tavern on the Green and all.

Beats the shit out of Billy Corgan’s thinly disguised homosexuality/whiner barn.