Hi, I seem to have taken a wrong turn at the “I’m drunk” thread.
And then there’s the issue of the pre-farted elevator, when the doors open and it’s empty of people but full of … evidence.
Unless the atmosphere is genuinely unbearable, I’ll take a deep breath and get on the elevator anyway, but if it stops for someone else on the way, I always say “I know what you’re thinking, and it wasn’t me.”
I appreciate the insight. It’s not exactly a win win situation to find yourself in there, but that’s an excellent way to clear the air!
Something only a GUILTY person would say.
Also, I heard you can get the bends if you hold it in going up and down in an elevator, so, people, let’s be careful out there!
If I want to terrorize my kids, I drink a little milk with dinner. They call it, “Releasing the Kracken.” On no! Mom, Dad’s releasin’ the kracken again!
In Sweden you can’t do this sort of thing to your kids.
This. Thread. Delivers.
I am reading this and laughing my ass off, as the kids say these days. Somehow I’m a grown man in his mid-30s and yet I still find humor in farting.
Somewhere along the line, I forgot to grow up, apparently.
Yes, it needs to be obvious that you yourself are as offended as they are.
“I doh what you’re thigkig, and it wasn’t be.”
A hanky tucked under the nostrils is good, too.
This is a link I sure don’t want to click!
It isn’t bad. If, for some reason, the bacteria in your colon, the kind you need for a healthy functioning body, die, you can get them back by getting a transplant, which is done by enema, except rather than trying to clear the colon using a cleansing fluid, you are trying to “dirty” the colon.
I’m sorry Jason, I’d rather commit ritual hari kari and eat my own entrails than click on that link, if it is all the same to you.
It’s a wikipedia link, not a video of a procedure. I’m surprised to find your life means so little to you.
I suffer from extreme exaggeration (and I’m squeamish about the sight of my own blood, let alone my innards).
I will take a peek (hit the link).
I was told a real life story about that. Long story short, arrogant doctor refusing to listen ended up with another doctor’s shit splattering all over his face. This was told to me by the donating doctor, a medical microbiologist. I still remember the smile on his face as he retold this story. He never really smiled much.
If it feels good it can’t be wrong.
The shit transplant link? Ha, ha! Come on. Really?
I am shocked, shocked to find out that noone has suggested drilling small holes in the gastrointestinal tract to release the gas.
And Poopolous.
I hope you smack your kids for making bad puns like this. Otherwise how will they know not to grow up to be the next Pauly Shore - you have an obligation.