Milky t*ts and awkward silence

I didn’t know The Witcher was gonna be AO! Or rather, if it’s not, howna hell are they going to pull off an M?

The last time I looked through their forums, they weren’t sure, but suspected that it’ll be censored by their North American publisher.

Does “nudity” as art get you past the AO rating? I thought there was no on screen smut, just the “collectible card games”. Regardless, I remain very interested in the Witcher as an RPG promising choice and consequences.

Not me. I just want to beat off to the playing cards.

ROTFL. Where did inspiration for that come from, h-games?

Ah, yes… this will be interesting.


God of War and GoW2 come to mind as games that have nudity and an M rating. I haven’t finished the 2nd one yet, but the first one even included off screen sex as a mini game that awarded experience orbs. Now that I think about it, why didn’t all the hyper-sensitive retards get all upset over that game?

Isn’t this basically prostitution? You paid money for a game and got boobies.

They didn’t know it existed. None of the people play games, and only found out about GTA after a couple articles were published and they skimmed over all the details.

Totally getting this through GoGamer then! XD

Yeah, censors can bite me.

That was a great article, btw.

I don’t suppose, and I ask this snarkily, not gayly, that female players get a playing card with a stablehand’s cock hanging out?


There is another sex minigame in the second game as well, though it’s sort of hidden in the very first first level.

“Dude I’ll trade you this Wendy Whole Milk card for your Suzy Skim.”

“No way man, Suzy Skim is worth at LEAST a Betty Butters and YOU KNOW IT!”

Thread derail: A couple of years ago, I volunteered for a “Fair Trade Coffee” day where we gave it out to people on campus. I ran inside to get some milk for people to put in their coffee, and came out with a couple of small plastic bottles of milk carried in my shirtsleeves. The girls I was with (still my friends to this day) thought this was hilarious, and went on about how I could end up with milk running up my sleeves into my arm-pits.

From that day on, those girls and their entire unit decided my nickname was Milky-Pits. I was powerless to stop it; the more I tried to get them to stop, the more they’d do it. It eventually became such a meme for them that the story has changed in their memories: according to them, the milk DID run up my sleeves into my armpits (me countering that I never had to change my shirt or anything remain ineffective).

Awkward? I’m immune to awkward. When girls shout “Hey, Milkypits!” at you in a crowded area, or post it on facebook, etc, you can deal with anything!

According to Section 2 of NMA’s Fallout Sexuality Act, all female player characters appearing in any computer or console games are assumed to be lesbians, and games are required to reflect this in “any relevant dialogue, scripting, emotes, blocking, gameplay mechanics, map design, credits, FMV, packaging, box art, bugs, patches, internet advertising, action figure tie-ins, Jack Thompson lawsuits, forum in-jokes, and/or any and all other parts of the game and game-related enterprise.”

Mysteriously, Section 3 forbids “dykes.”

Edit: Dammit, this is re: Stableboy Cocks, as above. People had to go and make intervening posts while I was typing…

It’s brilliant.

Milkmaid = Breasts covered in milk. What a great mnemonic, helping you to always remember that the virtual chick you banged was a purveyor of dairy.

I hope the Farmer’s Daughter picture includes a strategically placed ear of corn. It’s not called “cornholing” for nothing, you know.

And the weaver’s picture could illustrate the various ways to enjoy knitting needles in a sexual way.

If only I’d thought to take similar pictures of my past lovers, I’d surely remember their professions better.

Good work, developers!