Moscow tips

I’m taking a fun trip to Moscow next week… what do I do? What’s the best way to tour around and see everything? What’s the best way to not get kidnapped by mobsters/blow’d up by rebels/poisoned by Putin?

I know you have a hard time meeting women, but isn’t this a little extreme?



I’m pretty sure they frown on first date smoochin’.

Remember, in Soviet Russia, Yakov Smirnov jokes get tired of you!

Fack no, you joke me?

Act like you’re in a hurry all the time.

Well, the pool of state-trained, attractive Russian gymnasts is quite low over on this side of the pond. You almost have to go to Russia if you want to meet any of them. I will not begrudge extarbags his opportunity.

I know you have a hard time meeting women, but isn’t this a little extreme?[/QUOTE]


Also, this thread needs more Dschingis Khan.

I never spent much time in Moscow, but recall that the WW2 memorial was worth checking out. Extarbags, are you headed to St Petersburg at all, or just Moscow?

Best way to not get kidnapped is to not look like a foreigner. ;-) Best way to not get robbed is to avoid backpacks, fannypacks, etc. Definitely get a money belt.

Just Moscow. What’s a money belt?

Also, good to see my old friend Dschingis Khan again. He’s helpful.

a belt you put money in… that then sits under your shirt/jacket.

I’d suggest not getting the shoulder holster kind, they can cause more problems than they solve (and apparently the inside pocket is the next easiet to lift from than the back so they’ll find it and just mug you later).

I know it’s another country, but if you carry a handgun you’ll have to check it in when you go to a club.

I predict extarbags vanishes without a trace within 90 minutes of arriving in Russia. Anyone willing to go lower?

recalls story about wandering around Havannah with a guy dressed in a simpsons T-Shirt and a wallet around his neck wondering why we were bothered every 10 seconds by people wanting to sell us cigars/coke/women.

My advice is, whenever you go anywhere that has prices written in English and Russian, use the dictionary to figure out how to ask them in Russian for buying whatever it is you want to buy. Usually the English prices are twice as expensive.

What good is asking someone something in Russian when you can’t understand the response?

Just pretend to be a deaf/mute and write Cyrillic numbers on a writing pad.

Cyrillic numbers, nice. Everyone will understand you, and definitely give you the lower rate. You are tres drole, Roger. ;-)

Anyway, this is a fine description of Money Belts. I vaguely recall getting mine at AAA. Several hundred in Travelers checks is a good idea too, in case you have trouble with your credit/atm card. Make sure you ask locals (that you know!) where the best place to exchange currency is.

You couldn’t pay me enough to go to Russia or any even slightly problematic country right now.

Good luck man.

He’ll remember he’s actually a trained CIA womanizer and seduce dozens of women within only a few days.