Moscow tips

Oh well, I guess I better take the collection I started up for sending you to Borneo, and give it to charity or something.

Whoa there, I want my $500 back from the SpoofyFund. I guess I also have some calls to make to Borneo.

That’s why we’re going to abduct you.

The Extarbags Identity.

Extarbags is going to retail for his bride. How classy!

The Boring Identity.

My Muscovite friend tells horror stories about traffic, and the time it takes to get a taxi between the airport and anywhere in Moscow. So I guess, uhm leave about 3 hours for your airport journey, and don’t be upset if your taxi driver takes shortcuts through constructions sites etc.

Of course my friend might be relating the most entertaining version of events, I have no idea. I hear the subway in Moscow is great though.

In all seriousness, my wife went to school with an American kid who was into Russian language and literature as his life’s work. Took six years of Russian in middle school and high school. Majored in Russian Literature in college. The final semester of his final year at college, he did an externship/study abroad in Moscow.

One day they found him dead there, hanging out of his apartment window from some bedsheets. The police ruled it a suicide, but some “kinder” members basically admitted to the family that he probably accidentally saw something he shouldn’t have seen, or was seen to have a bit too much cash, or whatever, and was murdered. Of course that was the mid-to-late 90s; I’m sure it is all better now.

My wife’s family is Russian (my wife was born in Moscow and lived there for the first five years of her life or so). Lots of wonderful stories of relatives ending up dead, their bodies recovered months later in lakes or other such places, killed by the mob to collect on life insurance policies, etc.

Come on, stop scaring the guy. Imagine some forum with mostly Russian people telling their Russian friend who is going to visit New York: "They will rob you blind there! Watch out for all the criminals! The US has a very high crime rate! One of my brothers was robbed there! They have millions of people in prisons! The Mafia is in New York!

Have a good time and don’t sweat it, bags. Enjoy yourself. And seriously, if you are EVER going to try vodka, which should be tasteless for a supertaster, you gotta do it in Moscow. Hell, if you don’t try vodka while in Moscow . . . what kind of American are you? We fought a Cold War for their precious, precious vodka.

Yes, it’s extarbags in… Mission Impossible

I’m not trying to scare him, just telling the truth. My wife’s family has numerous dead relatives due to the crime and life is cheap model that is modern Russia. Unless they are lying to me about the dead uncles and cousins. Of course, they actually live there, and over time, their chances of disappearance are far higher. Not to mention that in the eyes of criminals, they are less likely to lead to inquiry if killed, unlike an American tourist.

Besides, if I actually thought it was going to scare extarbags, it would be different. I do not think he is going to freak out over it, he’s just looking for tips like, “Don’t chat up the men who pull up in large black sedans with bodyguards,” and things like that.

What the fuck? What is wrong with you guys? Enjoy being total dicks to extarbags while at the same time making fun of Russia? Seriously the majority of responses in this thread have been tastless zingers, not at all helpful – hell, not even in keeping with the good tone of the original question. Shit, I never realized how many cheap-shotted pretentious assholes this forum suddenly sprouted.

It’s what’s for dinner.

We couldn’t put any spices on them or bags would have spit them out. He’s a supertaster, see.

In all seriousness, my dream vacation is still crossing the motherland on the Trans-Siberian RR (with a healthy layover at Baikal and another one wherever I can trek up to Tunguska and take pics) and then hanging in Moscow, St Pete, and Kiev for like a month each. So have fun bags. You will meet people there, and some of them may be women. Just so you know in advance.

Edit: brevity is the soul of wit. But yeah, I guess shift beat me.

Hey, if anything that’s showing restraint, given his condition!

Nobody’s making fun of Russia. It’s a fucking dangerous place for foreigners.

Seconded. Why don’t you guys lay off a little bit, and cut the thread bullying bullshit out?

It’s a more dangerous place for natives than foreigners, from what I’ve heard both from locals and foreign businessmen. I sat next to one guy from the Netherlands in the poulty business, and asked him if had any trouble with the mafia – he said yah, and basically implied he payed them off. To paraphrase, “They don’t come after you, but after your business contacts. They kill the people you do business with, until you play along”. And I won’t even go into the mafia guys I’ve met, or seen at clubs; Russia definitely has a “Wild West” flavor.

All that said, the rate of violence is over exaggerated. I’d bet driving in the US is more likely (per unit time) to kill you. Nonetheless, you’d be a fool to be obviously carrying money; looking like a poor (preferably european) student is the way to go.

I got a degree in Russian back in college, and as part of my education took a 5 week language course over there. First off…Moscow is amazing and for the most part every is very friendly. Be way of the old military guys (I was harrased at a flea market…but got some great gifts!), and also watch out for the guys in grey uniforms witha black badge with a dove on it. The MVD is just the new KGB…but nicer!

Way to travel: Train/subway is the only way to get around. You can buy tickets at the station, and the maps are pretty easy to read. If I remember correctly they run until 1 or 2 am. The second bonus to this is the stations are flat out amazing. They are much like small palaces. I spent an entire day station hopping and taking pictures. Never took a cab, and if you don’t speak Russian it would be best if you just avoided them.

Things to see: Well, everything! If you go late enough in the summer you should try and get up to St. Petersburg for the festival of the white lights. Cant remember the exact day, but it basically a 3 day party where the sun never sets.

In Moscow:
Red Square is a must (small trivia: Red Squares original name was Beautiful Square. The word for Red and Beauty are almost the same; but after the revolution they changed the name to “Red”). I would plan a day and night trip to check it out. Things in/around the square. St. Basil’s Cathedral (close by is the beheading pit too), the old KGB HQ, Lenins tomb (though I think they closed this), part of the Kremlin, and the tomb of the unknown soldier(s). I belive there is also a tourist stand very close to one of the Kremlins gates, but can’t remember exactly where.

World War 2 Memorial: Again, I would plan both a day and night trip to see this. They have some old WW2 tanks and aircraft around the park. Close by is the Russians version of the Arch de Triomphe (built for Russias victory of Napoleon).

For art and such you could spend months. I forget where the Bolshoy is located, but there is a train stop close by. As for museums, we went to the Tretyakov Gallery (old) off the Moscow River and the State History (think close to Red Square). Also check out some of the Cathedrals (dont take pictures, they really frown on it!).

Parks: Gorky park is a must, which also connects to some old Emperors garden/home. The other park we went to was Izalovski park (close to a train stop too!).

Food: Lots of good stuff, just watch out what you are eating.

Your safety. I never felt threatened at all, and I spent a few nights out drinking. If you look South American you might want to keep your passport close by. We had one guy that was almost arrested for being a Chechnian terrorist. Stay to the metro and major areas and there is nothing to worry about. Be stupid, like any big city and you can get killed.

Take lots of film/memory cards. I came home with 30 rolls to develop.

Extarbags: Here’s the link you were really looking for.

Everyone else: Link is (a) very NSFW and (b) precisely what you think it is.