Mother: Son Learned to Steal Cars from Video Games

This sort of thing appears in the news so much, it’s not even that outrageous anymore. This one struck my interest because the boy is so young. Of course he learned how to drive playing video games. This is how he learned to pillage, rape, and run amok too!

The [nine year old fourth grade] boy was unhappy after his family moved to Lakewood, outside Tacoma, Wash. His odyssey began Sunday when he stole a car that was left running outside a neighbor’s house, only to be spotted by police near a highway intersection.

Police pursued Semaj at speeds up to 90 mph until he took an exit and the engine blew, after which the car went over a curb and coasted into a tree. He refused to come out of the car, so officers broke a window to unlock a door and immediately recognized him as a frequent runaway and car thief, Lakewood police Lt. David B. Guttu said.

After his failed runaway attempt Sunday, Semaj escaped from home again on Tuesday, this time traveling by plane instead of car.

Last month Semaj also crashed a stolen car before being caught by police in Tacoma, and more recently he was caught in Seattle in a stolen car that had run out of gas, said his mother, Sakinah Booker.

She believes he learned to drive from playing video games on a PlayStation.

Thankfully he didn’t have a Wii!

I tried to steal a car in real life once but I couldn’t find the triangle button.

I learnt how to drive by playing Mario Kart. If you piss me off on the highway I’m likely to throw turtle shells at you in the hopes you spin out of control.

I learned how to drive by playing Burnout. Fair warning.

After his failed runaway attempt Sunday, Semaj escaped from home again on Tuesday, this time traveling by plane instead of car.

And this is what happens when you let them at MS Flight Simulator.

Do you weave hard enough to let the back tires slip in order to go faster? I know these dudes do.

How does this stuff stuff make the news and get debated? Has no one ever talked to a crime and deviance expert?

Or talked to an actual playstation user who has also driven a car? I’ve done both. There are VERY few similarities.

I must be really, really, really good at sundering armor by now, because I’ve done it about 146 trillion times, in a videogame. Also, you’d best not cut me off on the freeway or I’ll get out and Mortal Strike you.

Seriously, anyone that says shit like that deserves to have their kids taken away. If you can’t take responsibility for your child, then maybe the state ought to.

Mother: “Son did not learn not to steal cars from me.”

I think the debate should be about what kind of criminal justice system do we have where a 9 year old is a repeat car theft offender, leads cops on a high speed chase, and then gets to go home that day. He’s clearly issues that his mother can’t handle.

Why can’t we hear the success stories of sons learning vital skills to every day life, from video games? “Son learned how to repel zombie infestation”, “Son has an IQ higher than mine now”, “Son nurtures small creatures that you wack open for candy”, “Son micromanages life and family”.

There has to be some, right? There has to be people out there who plays the SIMs, to do more than just drown them in the pool or lock them in the toilet until they die?

No kidding. I use brakes when I’m driving a real car.

I learned how to drive by playing Death Race:

I can’t even drive. I wouldn’t mind about news stories like this, but i enjoy Burnout games. I love smashing and crashing. GTA is fun, to run people over with. Carmageddon was one of my favourite games back in the day. I would laugh heartily at the carnage i created, red-blooded carnage (I got the ‘Splat Pak’) too.

Yet i’m too scared to drive because not only are you ‘supposed’ to regard everyone else on the road as an idiot, i’m also driving a heavy wad of steel. All it takes is one mistake, and i can cripple or kill someone. I’d rather take the bus… for now anyway.

So yeah. I can’t see how it even relates.

Edit: Aww, Death Race!

Oh, doesn’t EVERYONE know how to hot-wire a car from TV shows and movies? You just reach under the steering column, pull out a spool of wires, and start making sparks until the engine coughs to life. Piece of cake… just like snapping someone’s neck by twisting their head really fast.

You failed because obviously disabling the car alarm is the square button, and ripping out the stereo is triangle.

Why haven’t we seen some kind of guitar-slinger renaissance owing to the popularity of Guitar Hero?

If that’s how this shit worked, Eddie Van Halen would be selling pencils on the fucking street right now.

Are you sure he isn’t? When was the last time you saw him? I’m pretty sure Sluggo gets more pussy than Eddie these days.

That’s… a pretty good point, actually.