Hmm, someone else remind me of I’m getting mods mixed up, but basically you want honor and reknown - Both increases the amount of men you can have and of course get leadership as well to both decrease pay each week and also increase the amount of men you can have.
Secondly, capture lords for ransom. And grab the loot! Always grab the loot! You may want to invest a few points into inventory management and prisoner management (Which also decreases the chance of lords escaping) and Looting, all of which are money skills. Prisoners sell for very good money! maximize the profit you get for each battle this way, and things will go a lot easier
Basically, in most games you can’t be everything, so be the thing you want to be, either the Commander (Intelligence, Charisma) or the warrior (Strength, Agility) - You can’t be supergood at both, I’m afraid. At least, not without cheating. Also, remember,a lot of skills are Party Skills, meaning your companions can help out there instead if you having to do the stuff there.
Finally, you may have overreached. IF you start out too early with the castle and such, you risk having the above issues. Also remember, Cities give a LOT more money than castles does.
Personally, I like to save up 100.000-150.000 before I start taking a castle.
As for couched lance - Just ride towards the enemy and your lance will couch itself if it isn’t just used. Don’t press attack, just ride and point.
Edit: By the way, if we are to compare Penises, Arrendek, I probably have around 1200 hours in Singleplayer M&B (I bought the original game when it was what…7 dollars?) and probably half that in multiplayer…
The worst part is, I still suck insanely at MP