3696

Hence the war on Wednesday! Our liberal demands are simple: a taco truck on every corner, mandatory gay weddings in every Church and gun store, 100% taxation rate for incomes above $1m, and Alex Jones imprisoned for crimes against the supplement industry.

3697

And affordable health care.

3698

Why stop at 100%, comrade? Are you some kind of secret capitalist? I’d hate to have to report you.

3699

You’re a real shoot for the moon type, aren’t you? At least my demands were reasonable.

Don’t forget that “income” is reclassified to include all capital assets a person possesses, except for the state-allowed 1/3 car per adult resident of a home (oh, polyamory is also mandatory, as a concession to our new Mormon allies).

3700

I’m thinking a high security mental institution. Forever.

3701

Is this the part where the GOP shows up and asks why everyone can’t be civil but at the same time political correctness is oh so bad.

I don’t know how you be civil with a someone in the media who just makes things up like this to encourage conflict and violence.

3702

It’s a bit odd to make a prediction that will be proven false in a couple of days. He should have picked a date further out.

3703

False? What are you talking about? Didn’t you hear the booms echoing across the landscape on July 4th? That was the brave and noble ICE agents beating back the secret Democrat Army.

of course they were easy to beat, because Democrats won’t use guns.

3704

Shit, seriously? Is there a mass email I missed?

Better clean out great-great-grampappy’s musket.

3705

The ‘good’ news is that maybe it’s harder for some nutfuck to plan and execute a mass shooting in 48 hours. Maybe.

This asshole still may get people killed.

3706

Will that get me out of going to the Alameida County Fair all day on July 4th? Because I’ll do anything to get out of that.

3707

Did you whitelist george@soros.net? If not, check your spam filter.

3708

This might turn into the next End of the World prediction. July 4th rolls around, guys, wait… they’ve moved it, and then you just keep pushing it out but be on your toes, just in case.

3709

The only civil war I plan to take part in is the one in Klingon Academy. Qapla’!

3710

Obviously when nothing happens, it’s because Alex foiled their plot and so many of his listeners were prepared.

3711

Does Alex Jones actually believe this stuff or is he just a con man?

3712

All signs point to him believing all of it.

3713

Wait, I thought he was just acting?

3714

Yup, he’s a crisis actor.

3715

I don’t know if I’m mentally equipped to deal with the level of stupid in this country right now.

I mean, I know morons like this have been around forever. It’s just that they used to be the fringe and not, y’know, running the country and stuff.