Sure, but maybe if someone says I don’t think this is a reasonable ask, you’re asking women to do all the work, get more education and be perfect and do all these things not to be victims is, from my POV, victim blaming. You’re asking the potential victim to make all these changes and a few might be assuming some of this stuff isn’t already done… when it is.
Let’s keep in mind, not all women are smart. And after my long work week, I’m supposed not not go to the bar and relax but head on over to the latest how to avoid a douchebag seminar… is this a monthly thing or can I go to a yearly convention or something?
I don’t know what you’re problem is, but I am not attacking people in this thread just because they’re attacking me. I am pointing out the challenge with a particular POV. If you want to do your usual attack thing, take it to P & R.
I never said you were a pro-rapist or anything. We had someone post a few things that were interrupted as PRO RAPIST on another board and he wasn’t happy about it. Nor did he understand why it was interpreted that way. His response tells me he doesn’t want to understand either.
I never pointed at you sand say hey you go F off, or hey you, you’ve got this problem I am labeling you with, or you over this, this is you.
I am simply saying your POV can be interpreted this way and this is why. And here is my POV, and why I have it.
If I implied I thought you were pro-rapist, it was not intentional. I am certain I didn’t diagnose you or point at you and say you are something. These are sensitive topics. My intention was to point out how a POV that focuses on the victims or the potential victims, as @ArmandoPenblade put well, can be seen as victim blaming because of the general lack of focus on the aggressor. It doesn’t mean you are forgiving the aggressor or agree with them in anyway but the ask is one-sided.
Also Kedaha just likes to point at people and label them with something he googled at one point.
I probably should have started with this: I am sorry that you felt you had to defend yourself and not just the approach, the POV. It was not my intention to attack anyone but challenge the POV. I do not assume anyone here is some sort of secret PUA or aggressor or even on an actual aggressor’s side in anyway.
I asked where stusser stated that he wanted everyone else in society to step back from stopping sexual assault happening as soon as younger women started being educated about sexual assault techniques.
That is what you implied he (and others) were doing. You are arguing that supporting things that reduces victimisation somehow equals taking resources away from stopping people committing these acts, and at the same time shifting blame from perpetrator to victim.
Nowhere did anyone post anything even remotely arguing that and yet you’ve replied several times implying that other users have, and attacking them based on it.
That is disingenuous bordering on dishonest.
If you would like to point out an example of when I have ever just pointed someone and labelled them with something I ‘googled at one point’ without actually making an argument, I’d love to see it. I’m an argumentative shit but I a) don’t need to resort to Google to look up a phrase as common as monomania & b) just write a throwaway comment*
I think what she’s saying is that many people read it that way, that POV is common, and explaining how it can be perceived, even when that is not your intention.
And it is easy to fall into that trap. Imagine a crackhead stole your TV because you left the front door unlocked. How many people would say it was your fault? Well, it totally isn’t. It’s the junkie’s fault, he’s the one that stole it! But you could have done more to protect yourself.
Geez, P&R has a lousy reputation, and it’s almost entirely undeserved, at least since the Great Schism. You’ll find far more ad hominem attacks in the Games forum and Everything Else than you will there.
It’s complicated. But look at it this way. Let’s say you are a normal non-pathological human being and you desire some kind of normal human sexual interaction with another human being:
As a man, if you do nothing, go to a bar, keep to yourself, will you get offered sex?
As a woman, if you do nothing, go to a bar, keep to yourself, will you get offered sex?
I think pretty clearly in #1 the answer is no, never. At least not if you are straight, and don’t happen to look like a male supermodel. And I think also pretty clearly in #2 the answer is yes, all the time, way too much. That in particular is a huge problem, way bigger than #1, but these problems feed off each other.
This discontinuity is the root of so many problems. Add to that, the fact that men want sex at 3x - 5x the rate of women, and it’s kind of a powder keg. But clearly if you are a dude and you are completely passive, not pushing to get sex at all, you will never get sex. Never.
I dunno maybe online dating changes this formula a bit. I hope so.
Well, as a data point, there are some youtube videos of
an attractive man propositioning 100 random women in public
an attractive woman propositioning 100 random men in public
Guess what the results were?
My only point is that it’s fine for women to be passive. That works for them, because it’s a completely asymmetric relationship. But for men? Passivity is a recipe for depression. You have to be actively pursuing or life just leaves you behind. There’s literally no other choice.
