I don’t have a problem with your reply, I know you’re not familiar with me and really given the way the internet is… well, people are pretty difficult to deal with and you never know who’s going to get weird no matter what you say.
The reason I suggest that maybe we not just tell girls to be careful, don’t hang out with the wrong crowd, beware of creepy dudes, etc. and actually teach them the techniques and tactics that are taught in the actual PUA seminars should kinda be obvious, at least I thought so. Let me explain that.
Per my story, I got called a MRA pro-rape shitbag by some people. Well, I’m not pro-rape but I don’t even know what an MRA is. So I went looking. Well, there’s the “I’m a man, please don’t persecute me for it” nice guy crowd who are sort of bewildered at being constantly under assault for apparently being unaware that they’re a rape tornado that hasn’t happened yet - and then there are the PUA types. I fall into the former, but what the hell are these PUA dudes? So I started reading.
I picked up Neil Strauss’ “The Game”. I was fascinated by the grossness of it. Now, I was born in the 70s, had my 20s in the 90s, so I’m from a different place than the 2017 guy who might have been exposed to this via the internet. This is all news to me. But I used to go out with a mixed crowd, and I’m observant and I never could understand why a particular sort of guy that I found really distasteful. It’s the old “omg why are all the women I know in this groundhog day loop of dating some guido jerk who treats them like shit, then they come cry on my shoulder about it, then repeat it with the next asshole?” thing. I think unless we ARE one of those guys, the rest of us just observe this and can’t understand it. Worse, I think some “nice guys” decide that well, if that’s how the game is played… I’ll be a dickbag too.
So I’m reading this book and watching some youtube videos of PUA seminars and it’s just fascinating because I’m thinking back to everything I’d seen in the clubs and at parties and stuff - and it’s apparently effective enough to be packaged and sold as hot knowledge to be weaponized against their targets. And the more I read, the more I understand it, and the less I like it. It’s psychological manipulation boiled down to a professional stage magician level. Actually, PUA and magic tricks share a lot of commonality in that way.
Since all this understanding of the mechanics of sexual psychological manipulation as applied predatory pack hunting is 100% news to me, I would assume that average “mon and dad” out there in suburban USA don’t know it either. They can say “Honey, be careful around men” but they can’t say “Here’s how to identify when someone is trying to psychologically manipulate you by PUA tactics. Here’s what they’re teaching each other, and their terminology.” I think a young woman who knows what they’re taught formally is at a great advantage compared to her friends who just “get a creepy vibe from that guy”. The educated girl can say “Hey, I read The Game too. Negging me isn’t going to work and your insecurity and desperation are showing.” is going to fare a lot better.
When I was a kid, my parents had some friends who were professional hypno-therapist types. I was too young to care what they actually did medically with it, but I intently listened to them discussing a lot of subconscious manipulation and behavior, what made people tick, and how things like neurolinguistic programming work. Subliminal ads on TV and in magazines were the hot scandal back then, like sexual imagery hidden in ice cubes in a whiskey ad, etc, so I think that’s how that conversation got going. I was like 10, so I didn’t have a lot of context for everything - but I was a smart kid and understood the whole psychology and marketing and induced urges things about television, so I sorta got it.
Well, having some background understanding from knowing those folks as a kid, I had a perspective on the stuff I was reading and how it actually worked, even if the author didn’t. And it’s super gross, mainly because it’s so obvious, directed, and goddamn effective. But, if someone is aware of how it’s done you’re instantly aware when someone is trying to do it… and it seems like the vast majority of people simply aren’t perceptive of it at all.