New members, meet new friends. Welcome!

No.

What even in hell?

He didn’t get the goofy sillness of the post, and Craig explained it and he laughed it off.

Seems to have been just fine.

I actually kind of agree with Rich. In jokes are, by their nature, exclusionary. In fact, I think they’re rude in front of another person who might be experiencing uncertainty about his or her situation with you. When you meet someone new, especially if you’re welcoming that person into your home or a new community, you shouldn’t be using the argot that he doesn’t speak.

Naturally, I’m not saying don’t make in jokes. And what played out upthread was just fine, and everyone was gracious about it. But I’m with Rich and Tim in that I think a lot of people don’t realize how socially awkward in-jokes can be for the folks who aren’t “in”, especially in person. Put yourself in that person’s shoes. For all he knows, you’re having a laugh at his expense. At the very least, you’re making him unsure how to react. Does he laugh politely, or does he risk your scorn by telling you he doesn’t understand?

-Tom, who once had dinner with THE Miss Manners. No joke.

Hey, I wonder why this thread has so much activ… Oh.

Thanks for chiming in Tom. That’s how I feel about this too. It’s very hard to know how to react and what people are telling you when you don’t know where they are coming from with an in joke. It’s fine across the forum, but it’s a bit questionable when welcoming new members.

Yeah, you see dozens of new posts and think “wow, we’ve got all kinds of new friends!” Or…not.

Perhaps @admin could cut all this meta discussion about how we welcome new members to a seperate thread so this thread stays on topic?

Just to clarify. I didn’t mind at all about @BrianRubin post. I was confused, yes but it was my fault that I didn’t understand the meme.

I…wasn’t even referecing an in-joke. I just thought the gif was funny. Yeeesh.

That’s why we’re sending you to the reeducation camps, Brian.

(It really wasn’t an in-joke, Tom. It was just a goofy Star Trek gif. No one asked him about Populous or which Electronics Boutique or if he’d drilled holes in his monitor. And the person who was REALLY offended by it in this thread was Tim, who was upset with the GIF solely on the basis of it being “super gay”.)

“What the goddamn fucking hell are you shitheads talking about?”

This needs the pic of the little figurine to really sell it. :)

If it was an inside joke, I’m not in on it, and I’ve been on this site for a while. Despite not being in on it, I wasn’t, in any shape or form, offended and I highly suspect Arsalan wasn’t either, since he basically said so.

I honestly scratched my head when I saw Tim’s post. Scratched it again when I saw Tom generally agreeing. If I show up to a party where a bunch of people have known each other for a long time, I don’t mind that a few things don’t make perfect sense to me, right away. I think that helps people relax more and feel more welcome, when old friends are natural around each other, rather than acting all self-conscious about the new guy. Sure, don’t go out and make the new guy the butt of all the jokes, but don’t walk on egg shells, either.

Well, sure, but that’s not what I was commenting on. As I said, I don’t take any issue with what happened upthread. But I wanted to point out that I agree with Rich and Tim when they point out that in-jokes are exclusionary. I think a lot of folks don’t realize how that comes across and it’s worth pointing out.

Did I mention that I once had dinner with Miss Manners? Now let’s talk about which fork to use for salad.

-Tom

I couldn’t find it :(

I am not offended by the gif (as super gay as it is). I was pointing out that it didn’t seem appropriate for all the reasons I already mentioned.

I’d really like to back away from this thread. The only reason I keep coming back is because you and Brian are trying to suggest I’m a homophobe for characterising that gif as super gay (which is incredibly unfair because that gif totally is super gay). Any gif that makes people feel the need to announce their gender probably qualifies as a super gay gif.