New Trans-Gender Barbie

Personally, I thought that Barbie (and her anatomically neutral lifemate Ken) was always sort of “trans-gender,” but apparently this is a big revelation for some people.

I am intrigued, however, by the idea that attempting to confuse someone about their gender might be “very dangerous.” It makes me wonder if I could, were I to meet this Mr. Knight (no relation to Michael) on the street, attempt to confuse him about his gender and then watch as he drops writhing to the ground, morphing into a transvestite before my very eyes.

If I ever get to be a superhero, that’s totally going to be my secret power.

Excuse me, Magneto…pink? You are wearing purple and pink?
Red Skull! Defend your ascots and khakis!
And you, Joker, do you joke because you hurt inside? Do you hurt inside because you have a secret! OUT WITH YOU!!!

On a related note, if making people temporarily gay is a super hero’s power, does that mean that Freddie Prinze Jr. and Jose Liz are bound together as hero and villain like Bruce Willis and SAMUEL L. JACKSON, in Unbreakable?

Who was that other guy that posted about being attracted to Heath Ledger?

It seems someone who lurks here on the forums already possesses such a power.

I’m gay for Flowers.

I would rather fuck a young guy than an old woman (at the present time, things might change when I become an old man). Granted, you’d have to pay me a large amount of money for me to consider doing either, and the woman would have to either be ugly+old or quite old (65+ years) for a young guy to be more sexually attractive to me. My point is though, that sexuality for me, and probably for most others, is not a black and white issue with respect to gender.

On ugliness, the same thing applies. A very ugly or substantially mutilated woman again provides me with a relative attraction to men. Again though, with the proliferation of non-very ugly young and middle-aged women on the planet, this issue doesn’t bear itself out.

A good question to ask though: If only very old women and young men were left on the planet, and assuming you didnt immediately commit suicide at this terrible turn of events, who would you fuck?

No. That’s not a good question, at all. In fact, that’s the perfect distillation of all questions that are not good.

That is a lot of information.

Sparky, I will pay you money if you make that quote into a Christmas tree ornament for me.

Is there more? I can’t seem to summon the intestinal fortitude to read past that atom bomb of a statement.

Here’s a better one: old man, or Komodo dragon? Or how about: middle aged hermaphrodite with leprosy, or hungry manatee?

I await your answers, Mr. Koontz!

Oh, the huge manatee!!!

Why is that a good question?

He said hungry, not HUGE.

But either way, it’s not the Manatee, it’s the motion.

Do you get small manatees?

Anyone ever notice that Koontz is a bit odd?

Anyway, I don’t know how old you mean, Brian. Is an old woman above 60? 70? 80? As a general statement, I’d say it would depend on what the woman looked like.

Ya, seriously, because if she was an elf she could be like 700.

Now, that’s a real poser: Would Brian rather fuck a manatee or a 700-year-old elf?

I imagine that hinges on whether the manatee does or does not want him to inject her with sperm.

Actually, sloppy seconds with a manatee is the WORST!

Since human sperm can’t impregnate a manatee, it would only be sexual assault if the manatee didn’t want it.

Oh, she wanted it. Did you see what she was wearing? She was asking for it!