Nigerian Scam

Politics and religion
1

I had heard about this a year ago or so, and I finally received my first very own scam message! I’m so proud! Here’s the email…

Date: Sat, 26 Jul 2003 10:36:19 +0100 (BST)
From: “rotimi williams” <[email protected]> | This is spam | Add to Address Book
Subject: Dear Koontz.
To: [email protected]

Dear Koontz,

I am Barrister Rotimi Williams, a solicitor at law and the personal attorney to Mr. Harisson Koontz, a national of your country, who used to work with Shell Development Oil and Gas Company in Nigeria as their financial controller, herein shall be referred to as my client. On the 21st of April 2000, my client, his wife and their two children were involved in a car accident along Sagbama express road , Port-Harcourt, Rivers State, Nigeria. All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost there lives. Since then I have made several enquiries to your embassy to locate any of my client’s extended relatives; this has also proved unsuccessful. After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to contact you over the Internet as a fellow national to my late client to help me locate any member of his family there in your country, hence I contacted you. I have contacted you to assist in repartrating the money and property left behind by my client before they get confisicated or declared unserviceable by the Security Company where this huge deposits were lodged. Particularly, the Security Company where the deceased had an account valued at 17.5million dollars has issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have the account confiscated within the next fourteen official working days. Since I have been unsuccesfull in locating the relatives for over 2 years now I seek your consent to present you to the the Security Company as the next of kin to my late client since I have the maximum chance to do it so that the proceeds of this account valued at 17.5Million dollars can be paid to you and then you and me can share the money 60% to me and 40% to you. I have all the neccessary legal documents that can be used to back up any claim we may make. All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this transaction through. I guarantee you that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you and me from any breach of the law . Please contact me as soon as possible through the above e- mail address , enclosing also your telephone/fax number for further clarifications.

Best regards,

Barrister Rotimi Williams .

2

Heh… nothing like someone seeking “honest cooperation” for help in defrauding an estate of 17.5 million dollars.

3

I also just received my first Nigerian Scam email a few weeks ago. And then yesterday I received the lamest scam attempt email ever:

Important notice

We have just charged your credit card for money laundry service in amount of $234.65 (because you are either child pornography webmaster or deal with dirty money, which require us to layndry them and then send to your checking account).
If you feel this transaction was made by our mistake, please press “No”.
If you confirm this transaction, please press “Yes” and fill in the form below.

Enter your credit card number here:

Enter your credit card expiration date:

Contacts:
Phone: +5982 902 5627
Fax: +5982 902 3114
E-mail: [email protected]
ICQ: 156746629

Umm…yeah. Who falls for this shit?

4

Yes, who indeed?

5

Seriously. Let’s just nuke Nigeria, please? We’ll do the world a favor by kicking that nation of scam artists off the planet. And if people object to nukes, a 7-day long conventional precision bombing campaign should do the trick.

6

I seem to have stopped getting those recently :jinx:

It is at least more interesting than constant penis enlargement and viagra pill spams.

7

Aren’t most of the people running the Nigerian scam from places that aren’t called Nigeria, though?

8

Yes, who indeed?[/quote]

He’s got a game there called “Dancing Bubs” it’s under games and it’s… totally the best game ever!

9

Currently making the rounds… If you’ve been following the SCO/IBM/Linux saga, it’s somewhat amusing…

DEAR SIR/MADAM:

I AM MR. DARL MCBRIDE CURRENTLY SERVING AS THE PRESIDENT AND CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER OF THE SCO GROUP, FORMERLY KNOWN AS CALDERA SYSTEMS INTERNATIONAL, IN LINDON, UTAH, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. I KNOW THIS LETTER MIGHT SURPRISE YOUR BECAUSE WE HAVE HAD NO PREVIOUS COMMUNICATIONS OR BUSINESS DEALINGS BEFORE NOW.

MY ASSOCIATES HAVE RECENTLY MADE CLAIM TO COMPUTER SOFTWARES WORTH AN ESTIMATED $1 BILLION U.S. DOLLARS. I AM WRITING TO YOU IN CONFIDENCE BECAUSE WE URGENTLY REQUIRE YOUR ASSISTANCE TO OBTAIN THESE FUNDS.

IN THE EARLY 1970S THE AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH CORPORATION DEVELOPED AT GREAT EXPENSE THE COMPUTER OPERATING SYSTEM SOFTWARE KNOWN AS UNIX. UNFORTUNATELY THE LAWS OF MY COUNTRY PROHIBITED THEM FROM SELLING THESE SOFTWARES AND SO THEIR VALUABLE SOURCE CODES REMAINED PRIVATELY HELD. UNDER A SPECIAL ARRANGEMENT SOME PROGRAMMERS FROM THE CALIFORNIA UNIVERSITY OF BERKELEY DID ADD MORE CODES TO THIS OPERATING SYSTEM, INCREASING ITS VALUE, BUT NOT IN ANY WAY TO DILUTE OR DISPARAGE OUR FULL AND RIGHTFUL OWNERSHIP OF THESE CODES, DESPITE ANY AGREEMENT BETWEEN AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH AND THE CALIFORNIA UNIVERSITY OF BERKELEY, WHICH AGREEMENT WE DENY AND DISAVOW.

IN THE YEAR 1984 A CHANGE OF REGIME IN MY COUNTRY ALLOWED THE AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH CORPORATION TO MAKE PROFITS FROM THESE SOFTWARES. IN THE YEAR 1990 OWNERSHIP OF THESE SOFTWARES WAS TRANSFERRED TO THE CORPORATION UNIX SYSTEM LABORATORIES. IN THE YEAR 1993 THIS CORPORATION WAS SOLD TO THE CORPORATION NOVELL. IN THE YEAR 1994 SOME EMPLOYEES OF NOVELL FORMED THE CORPORATION CALDERA SYSTEMS INTERNATIONAL, WHICH BEGAN TO DISTRIBUTE AN UPSTART OPERATING SYSTEM KNOWN AS LINUX. IN THE YEAR 1995 NOVELL SOLD THE UNIX SOFTWARE CODES TO SCO. IN THE YEAR 2001 OCCURRED A SEPARATION OF SCO, AND THE SCO BRAND NAME AND UNIX CODES WERE ACQUIRED BY THE CALDERA SYSTEMS INTERNATIONAL, AND IN THE FOLLOWING YEAR THE CALDERA SYSTEMS INTERNATIONAL WAS RENAMED SCO GROUP, OF WHICH I CURRENTLY SERVE AS CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER.

MY ASSOCIATES AND I OF THE SCO GROUP ARE THEREFORE THE FULL AND RIGHTFUL OWNERS OF THE OPERATING SYSTEM SOFTWARES KNOWN AS UNIX. OUR ENGINEERS HAVE DISCOVERED THAT NO FEWER THAN SEVENTY (70) LINES OF OUR VALUABLE AND PROPRIETARY SOURCE CODES HAVE APPEARED IN THE UPSTART OPERATING SYSTEM LINUX. AS YOU CAN PLAINLY SEE, THIS GIVES US A CLAIM ON THE MILLIONS OF LINES OF VALUABLE SOFTWARE CODES WHICH COMPRISE THIS LINUX AND WHICH HAS BEEN SOLD AT GREAT PROFIT TO VERY MANY BUSINESS ENTERPRISES. OUR LEGAL EXPERTS HAVE ADVISED US THAT OUR CONTRIBUTION TO THESE CODES IS WORTH AN ESTIMATED ONE (1) BILLION U.S. DOLLARS.

UNFORTUNATELY WE ARE HAVING DIFFICULTY EXTRACTING OUR FUNDS FROM THESE COMPUTER SOFTWARES. TO THIS EFFECT I HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE MANDATE BY MY COLLEAGUES TO CONTACT YOU AND ASK FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE. WE ARE PREPARED TO SELL YOU A SHARE IN THIS ENTERPRISE, WHICH WILL SOON BE VERY PROFITABLE, THAT WILL GRANT YOU THE RIGHTS TO USE THESE VALUABLE SOFTWARES IN YOUR BUSINESS ENTERPRISE. UNFORTUNATELY WE ARE NOT ABLE AT THIS TIME TO SET A PRICE ON THESE RIGHTS. THEREFORE IT IS OUR RESPECTFUL SUGGESTION, THAT YOU MAY BE IMMEDIATELY A PARTY TO THIS ENTERPRISE, BEFORE OTHERS ACCEPT THESE LUCRATIVE TERMS, THAT YOU SEND US THE NUMBER OF A BANKING ACCOUNT WHERE WE CAN WITHDRAW FUNDS OF A SUITABLE AMOUNT TO GUARANTEE YOUR PARTICIPATION IN THIS ENTERPRISE. AS AN ALTERNATIVE YOU MAY SEND US THE NUMBER AND EXPIRATION DATE OF YOUR MAJOR CREDIT CARD, OR YOU MAY SEND TO US A SIGNED CHECK FROM YOUR BANKING ACCOUNT PAYABLE TO “SCO GROUP” AND WITH THE AMOUNT LEFT BLANK FOR US TO CONVENIENTLY SUPPLY.

KINDLY TREAT THIS REQUEST AS VERY IMPORTANT AND STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL. I HONESTLY ASSURE YOU THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS 100% LEGAL AND RISK-FREE.

10

Thankfully I’ve never been hit with a scam like any of those… we have Current Affairs shows in oz that are pretty darn repetitious about “the dangers of the internet” … they usually have the latest and greatest e-mail scams… (though who would accept only 40% as an inheritance…)

11

As I’m now able to post, it seems I’ve passed the Qt3 ballot committee. I have been lurking for quite a while here, but I felt obliged to direct your attention to the Lads from Lagos site. Incredible funny stories of scamming the Nigerian scammers.
Or you can always try creating your own scam e-mails with Scam o Rama.

12

What are you talking about?

13

I think new accounts need to be approved by a moderator or something. At least that’s what was happening during all of the Cleve “fun”. Maybe it still is.

14

So how do they get approved? Does the hoper get a list of questions… err, simple to abide by requests?..

Tom/Mark: Are you Cleve Blakemore incognito?

Hoper: No… who’s Cleve Blakemore?

Tom/Mark: Nevermind that… Are you Derek Smart?

Hoper: No!.. who’s Derek Smart?

Tom/Mark: That’s strictly on a need-to-know basis. Are you planning to annoy others? Have you read my manifesto?

Hoper: My girlfriend says I annoy her. I try not to though… I read the email I guess… it seemed kind of strange.

Tom/Mark: You’re not taking this seriously! Don’t you know the ramifications of moles in the system? Worlds colliding, Worlds colliding! Danger Will Robinson!

Hoper: Fuck this. Its a Goddamn forum for Christ’s sake. I’m outta here.

Tom/Mark heaves a sigh of relief: Whew… I barely avoided that one.

15

Yer, you have to write to tom to get in… he actually sent me an e-mail asking if my request was a joke or test… I think it was because of my name choice, but there you go.

16

I think new accounts need to be approved by a moderator or something. At least that’s what was happening during all of the Cleve “fun”. Maybe it still is.[/quote]

Yeah, that’s all that’s going on. We got flooded with a bunch of variations of supreme commander handles when registration was fully automated, so we needed to insert a human layer into the registration process, unfortunately. You can see why “nutsak” would prompt a mild question or two.