Nigerians working with the British now?

(From my mailbox, it actually slipped through my spam filter)

Subject: I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE.

DEAR FRIEND,
I REGRET ANY INITIAL EMBARASSMENT MY LETTER MIGHT CAUSE YOU. I DO NOT
INTEND
TO INVADE YOUR PRIVACY BY THIS MAIL OF WHICH I REALLY NEED YOUR
ASSISTANCE
ON THIS MATTER.
I AM MAJOR PAUL MARTINS OF THE BRITISH 4TH INFANTRY ARMY DIVISION
TROOPS
IN RETROSPECT DURING OUR COMBINE FORCES WITH THE UNITED STATE OF
AMERICA
ARMY TO OUTSTAND THE BRUTAL REGIME OF SADDAM HUSSEIN IN IRAQ, OF WHICH
DURING
ONE OF OUR ROUTINE SEARCH OF SADDAM HUSSEIN PRESIDENTIAL PALACE IN
BAGHDAD
SOME OF MY COLLEAGUE AND I FOUND SOME BOXES CONTAINING MILLION OF
DOLLARS
IN SADDAM HUSSEIN PRESIDENTIAL PALACE TO THE TUNE OF THIRTY TWO MILLION
FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS. ($32.5M).
AFTER THE DICOVERY OF THESE BOXES MY COLLEAGUE AND I CAREFULLY REMOVE
THE
BOXES TO A SAFE LOCATION OF WHICH WE NOW ARRANGED WITH A SECURITY
COURIER
FIRM WHOM NOW HELPED US IN SHIPPING THE BOXES OUT OF IRAQ TO EUROPE FOR
SAFE KEEPING MARKED AS FILM AND FILM MATERIALS OF WHICH I HAVE THE
DOCUMENTS
TO THIS EFFECT SHOWING PROOF OF DEPOSIT. DUE TO THE CURRENT NATURE OF
MY
JOB IT BECOMES QUITE IMPOSSIBLE FOR MY COLLEAGUE AND I TO CLAIM THIS
MONEY,
HENCE WE SEEK YOUR ASSISTANCES.
I AM THEREFORE ASKING YOU TO PLEASE COME TO OUR AID IN GETTING THIS
MONEY
OUT FROM THE SECURITY COURIER FIRM FOR US, FOR ONWARD INVESTMENT OF THE
MONEY INTO VARIUOS BUSINESS AS ADVICE BY YOU.
I AM CONTACTING YOU IN VIEW OF THE FACT THAT WE WILL BE OF GREAT
ASSISTANCE
TO EACH OTHER. YOU WILL BE ADEQUATELY COMPENSATED FOR THIS. I WOULD
ADVICE
THAT THIS MATTER BE TREATED IN CONFIDENCE.
PLEASE DO GET IN TOUCH ON RECEIPT OF THIS MAIL THROUGH MY EMAIL ADDRESS
AND ALSO INCLUDE YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER SO THAT WE CAN AS WELL SPEAK TO
EACH
OTHER FACILITATE QUICK TRANSACTION OF THIS PROJECT. I LOOK FORWARD TO A
MUTUAL BENEFICIAL RELATIONSHIP. YOU CAN AS WELL SEND YOUR REPLY TO
[email protected].

BEST REGARDS
MAJOR PAUL MARTINS.

So it’s Three Kings but this time it’s supposed to be starring me?

I remember the days when if you were going to impersonate a British Army officer, you made sure that you could at least speak English.