Ninjas thwart muggers

My favorite bit:

Ninja student Nathan Smith was standing in the shadows outside the dojo when the attackers . . .

Is that part of the training, to just always stand in shadows if they’re available?

H.

DO YOU WANT KARATE?!

The ninjas gave chase but could not catch the assailants.

Oh come on.

If only the muggers had been pirates.

Ninjas are obviously OP. Plz nerf, kthx.

The preceding brought to you by Australia: the only all-PVP, all-the-time continent.

I read this as Ninjas thwart muggles.

Figured maybe it was the title of the next Harry Potter novel.

The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.

Sounds like a PR stunt. They send out bait and then reel him in with the muggers in tow. Entrapment! ;)

Sometimes they fly, but mostly they stab.

Where else are they going to stand? Wouldn’t really have the same effect if they were just chilling out in broad daylight, maybe smoking a cigarette or something.

Sweet jesus, it’s like an Onion article. I particularly like the reverse-POV description of the ninjas charging the muggers… followed by the punchline.

"We started running towards them and they took off. They would have seen five of us in ninja gear … all in black with our belts on, running toward them.”

The ninjas gave chase but could not catch the assailants.

They would have seen five of us in ninja gear

If you see the ninja, is it really a ninja?

The ninjas gave chase but could not catch the assailants.

If you can outrun the ninja, is it really a ninja?

Worst. Ninjas. Ever. But hey, I’m glad they rescued that guy.

I can’t wait until I start yoga next year.

The ninjas gave chase but could not catch the assailants.
Police told the ABC they arrested two male suspects.

So the ninjas couldn’t catch the assailants but the police could?

The ninjas gave chase but could not catch the assailants.

Seriously.

Everyone knows the plural is “ninja.”