No Hands...the Everything (Football|Soccer|Footie|Futbol) Thread


The 2014 World Cup is over, but some of us are still talking about that game where you kick the ball and can’t use your hands. International friendlies, premier leagues, champions leagues, MLS, whatever…bring it all here.

Yeah, that was ugly. Even an exhibition game deserves a better showing than that.


Thanks for putting up the thread ineffablebob. I love the reference. Whenever Colbert talks about footie he makes damn sure to mention that “not using his hands” is a big part of it.

As for that ManU-Galaxy game. Damn. You know what worries me more is ManU is not in the middle of a competitive tournament, as the Galaxy are supposed to be. ManU players are nowhere near their top form.


For anyone interested in MLS, has pretty decent game recap videos that run about 8 minutes per game. Long enough that they show more than just the goal scoring…some good saves and other important plays make the cut as well. The downside is that they have enough time to also show some of the awful goal celebrations…whoever came up with that ball-baby thing should be shot.


On some interesting news, James Rodríguez, Colombia’s wonderful player has moved to Real Madrid, where he will face some stiff competition. Hope he does well.

Honduras changed coach. El Tico Hernan Medford is our new coach, Concacaf beware! he’s had some success at the club level, and since he used to be a cheerful attacker I hope he’ll change our current “kick everything! just KICK EVERYTHING!” mentality into a more orderly, attacking squad. Of course, much more important is if the directivos of Honduran footie will actually let the man do his job…

Edit: hey, the Houston Dynamo now has 3 honduran players! but… sorry can’t cheer for a Houston team. Nope. no.

whoever came up with that ball-baby thing should be shot.

I’m looking for this to get a good laugh but can’t seem to find it. Direct linky?

Edit 2: oh you mean the putting the ball under your jersey as a baby thing? come ON that’s one of the classic celebrations, started by Bebeto if I’m not mistaken. Might be getting a bit old yea.


The MLS teams were brutal in these recent friendlies.

They do not take them as serious as they used to,and played lots of backups.

Unfortunately, lack of depth is a hallmark of the league…


See, this is why a sports needs new fans. They can tell the established folks when they’re doing something dumb. :)


Yeah, it’s too bad that these friendlies often come in the middle of a busy part of their seasons. No need to take an unnecessary risk with your players on a meaningless game when you need everybody to make a run at the championship.

I’m really excited to see that Everton is brining in Bosnian Muhamed Besic. He looked really good in the World Cup, so it looks like an astute buy.


Football on American broadcast television, who’d have thought it? Fox is showing Manchester United vs AS Roma, being played in Colorado. As holders of future World Cup broadcast rights, looks like Fox is trying to get the USA to remember that the game exists in between Cups.

Edit: Looks like there’s a few more of the International Champions Cup games going to be broadcast, too.

And Man U is beating the snot out of Roma so far, 3-0 at half. Roma actually looked much better early on, but couldn’t score despite 5 shots on goal. Man U just took over in the last 10-15 minutes of the half - two goals and an assist for Rooney.

The stadium looks about 1/3 full. At first I thought, no surprise for a USA location in a pre-season tournament…but then I looked at ticket prices for one of the later games. The lowest ticket available now for Man U/Real Madrid is $125, and most are over $200. No wonder they can’t fill the place.


I did not watch this one but the only thing worse than the Galaxy was vs Man U was the FOX telecast…


The Crew defeated New England 2-nil, while I haven´t decided yet between the Crew or Chicago Fire, Higuain´s beautiful goal certainly makes a good argument.

Edit: I wish the Revolution commentators would be more lively.

Also: holy shit they fire muskets when they celebrate goals in New England? you guys are certainly bringing interesting customs to the sport.


They do that when the Patriots score a touchdown too.

How are you guys watching MLS matches? This is probably a dumb question but I have yet to find a broadcast schedule that makes sense. It probably doesn’t help that I don’t support any Philadelphia teams despite living down here. Growing up in New England can do that to a person.

#12 has a pretty good listing of where the matches are being aired on their schedule page. There’s a live streaming service, though I haven’t tried it, and occasionally ESPN or a local cable network will carry a match. Mostly, though, I just watch the highlights on the morning after.


Yeah I’ve been lucky to catch a game or two that I just lucked into changing channels. I’m mostly looking at the highlights and reading about the teams and league to get aquainted to them.

Otthegreat: that’s weird, I don’t think I have ever seen them doing that in Patriots games, and I’ve seen lots of those. Learn something new every day!


Who is the best footballer that lived?

Sócrates, Zico, Pele, Maradona, Zidane, Iniesta? or?

Which is the best team ever?

Man U, Barcelona, Corinthians, River Plate, Bayern Munich? or?

Which is the best national team ever?

Brazil, Germany, Argentina, Spain, Italy? or?


The game changes so much from decade to decade that I would hesitate to call a team or player “best ever”. Like the NFL and NBA, rule changes to make the game more offensive will give you better stats for some players. Nowadays it would be really strange to see a team kick the snot out of someone like Pele used to get kicked around without the referee expelling half the side.

Dunno why you included Man U in your “best team ever” short list tho :)

Edit: apparently, Real Madrid will sell Di María to PSG for something like 80million Euros. To be able to do that after paying 50mil for David Luis (lol), Paris Saint Germain would reportedly send Cavani to ManU.

Sad to see him go from RM, he is a great player, and Real Madrid will get the money he is probably worth (James is more of a question mark really at 80mil…). I believe Di Maria was fundamental in Real getting the Champions Cup last year, and mostly Ronaldo will miss him a lot unless James can feed him enough passes.


Algerian WC Keeper Rais Mbolhi headed to the MLS, will be playing forPhiladelfia Union. A good deal, I think he was great for his national team in the Cup.

Oh, and Seattle Sounders were humbledby the LA Galaxy 3-nil


Yeah, I watched the first half of that one (after the fact on since I don’t have cable), and the Sounders just got stomped. It could easily have been 5-0 with all the good chances the Galaxy had.


Lukaku to Everton along with Besic, Barry on a freebie and Ross Barkley signing a new contract means we are looking very good atm.


Love these moves, especially bringing in Lukaku. He’s got some learning to do, but you have to pounce when you get a chance to bring in a striker like him. I’m not really fussed about the price either, I think he’s worth it.


My poor Portland Timbers got to play on national broadcast TV today, and were spanked by the LA Galaxy. Like any self-respecting non-southern-Californian, I despise LA teams, so it would have been extra special if the Timbers could have gone in and done well there. But other than an early goal that gave them a 1-0 lead, Portland looked badly outmatched. Big advantage for the Galaxy in possession time, and the final of 3-1 LA could have easily been 4 or 5 to one, based on the number of times that LA was in the Portland penalty area taking shots. And to add injury to insult, Gastón Fernández and Michael Harrington both were hurt badly enough to require substitutes. Not a good afternoon for a Portland fan.