Noooooo... Bloodrayne II

“Like the first movie, it takes place in medieval times. This one takes place in the 1860s.”

Somebody tackle this guy!

There’s no decency in this world :(

Everyone knows that during the Crusades, Christians rode into Jerusalem on steam engines.

Wait. The first did well enough to justify a sequel?

I can’t wait to see a Catholic Bloodrayne wearing a cowboy hat slaughtering loads of Islamic Indian werewolves. In the 15th^H^H^H^H19th century. (What’s 400 years of history when you have unlimited and permanent German budget force behind you?)

A while ago there was speculation that Boll’s funding was about to dry up due to a German tax loophole closing. It is now clear that, hate him or not, his movies are globally profitable and he may never, ever, ever stop.

Bloodrayne cost $25,000,000 to make and grossed $3,621,531 worldwide. Alone in the Dark cost $20,000,000 and grossed $5,132,655 in the US with maybe another million elsewhere. AFAIK, only House of the Dead was profitable.

What about DVD, though? That’s probably where they made their money, assuming they did.

Bloodrayne: the movie so popular, the original star doesn’t come back for the lead role in the sequel!

I wonder: should this be considered a step up or down from DOA for Ms. Malthe?

Well, it’s definitely a step down from Vampire Wars: Battle for the Universe.

Apparently Loken is thinking about coming back for Bloodrayne 3.

Yes, you heard that.

I, for one, will be glad to see this fine series returning to its roots.

As I understand it, Boll apparently manages to secure funding for his movies because they do crazily well in parts of Europe and Asia, despite how poorly they play in North America.

Obviously the solution here involves a nuclear weapon.

There is another much simpler solution, make Mike Tyson into a film critic and make Boll make another invite to critics to fight him in the ring.

But how did he get atleast 4 good/great actors into “In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale”?

Are you suggesting we dust off and nuke the site from orbit?

Now there’s a pay per view I’d consider paying for.

But how did he get atleast 4 good/great actors into “In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale”?

I’m guessing they are asking themselves the same thing.
When is this going to be released?

It is, traditionally, the only way to be sure.

A bunch of my friends rent B-movies and we have a racuous time laughing at how bad it is. Recently this was for Dungeons & Dragons 2 (the world’s lamest and most powerless villain, ever). So, yes, I would eventually watch whatever show Boll vomits out of his production factory.

BloodRayne II lists among its characters Pat Garrett, Billy the Kid, and “The Preacher”. Awesome.

Too bad about not having Michael Madsen, Michelle Rodriguez, Billy Zane, or Ben Kingsley.


God, every time I hear about (Sir!) Ben Kingsley being in that, it hits me like the first time.

I have been tempted in my idle moments to pursue a process of personal transformation (like Hiro muses in Snow Crash, most men do occasionally harbor thoughts of throwing it all away in favor of becoming a bad motherfucker) and then offer to fight Boll.

Money hats, I’d imagine, or somebody lost a bet.