Oh, How I Love Confusing Social Interactions

Dude, that was Alice – she desperately needs a shower and a comfortable bed. Don’t let Kev in, though, he’ll just try to scare her and they’ll have a huge screaming fight.

I don’t get why you shut the door before solving the case. This story needs a better ending than that.

Dear Hustler magazine

One day this woman knocked on my door and wanted to come inside. I said no and closed the door.


Yeah yeah yeah. But in general, if you knock on someone’s door, aren’t you supposed to talk to them first, instead of waiting for the other person to ask you who the hell you are?

Hooker: “Hi, our friend sent me.”
Looking to score: “Hi, are you Holden? Is it 4:20 yet? I like to get high at 4:20, but I need to buy pot first.”

Something instead of just standing there would’ve been appreciated.

Oh, and if she was a hooker, hopefully she’s not charging much. Just saying*, is all. Crazy makes sense, though if she asked about the colors I probably could’ve helped her out.

*I’m saying she wasn’t very attractive.

Door to door hookers: We send em’, you figure out why the hell we did.*

*Patent pending, STDs and AIDS free of charge.

I read that as LSD (I plead the fifth) and got a really weird mental image.

Your user name/post were very appropriate just them. /golfclap

Is this what happened?

DP: …what?
Frylock: Wake up, frat boy. Look, I hate to do this, but I’m gonna have to ask you to get off my lawn.
DP: Oh man. What time is it?
Frylock: It’s 1… in the afternoon.
DP: Wake and bake, dude. Wake and bake. Are you Holden?
Frylock: No.
DP: Did William Holden come to the party?
Frylock: No.
DP: You got Holden…Caufield in there, man?
Frylock: No, we don’t do that here.

Everything happens for a reason.

You should have let her make her case man.

Hey, I spent plenty of time standing there waiting for her to say something. I finally concluded she had no case to make.

She did say something about her dad owning a dealership…

I get this with phone calls all the time. I pick up the phone and say “hello?”. People just say “hello” in return and then there’s an awkward silence until I break out the attitude on them.

You won’t get answers if you don’t ask questions.

I’m also going to go with “hooker” here. She sounded awfully fishy in her responses.

It was probably all a joke by your friend Miles. Too bad you didn’t at least ask her in, she would have given you the phone number for Lana. She’s what you want. She’s what every white boy off the lake wants.

She was just some random bored chick whom just wanted to chat with someone. For the time being, your wife’s precious possessions are safe, including your fidelity. This kind of behavior happens a lot in dorms and communal living arrangements. Who knows, she probably just graduated and is adjusting to the working world.

Just remember, in a sluggish economy never fuck with another man’s livelihood.

She asked to be let in?

Dude, she was a vampire.

A vampire hooker who wanted to buy some weed from you!


That is all.

How much on the artsy fartsy ting?