I would normally contribute this to OMM, but since it is still apparently in hibernation, I’ll post this little chestnut here:
Great Moments in Games Journalism, World Series Baseball 2K3 review:
“If I have any grip this is the grip I have even though I don’t have Xbox live I still feel disappointed for those that do.”
Wow. So many good lines. Here’s my favorite:
“I almost pee’d my pants when I saw the computer controlled base runner that was on 2nd base try to slide and make it home from a blooper up the middle into shallow center field and what was even more impressive is the base runner slammed into my catcher as soon as I threw the ball to home plate, of course my catcher hung on or i would of benched his ass.”
Say that in one breath.
-g
Wow. The guy who picked the four screenshots that went with this review is some sort of flamin’ ass freak! SCHWING, batter batter, SCHWING!
See, graphics haven’t changed much since Accolade’s Hardball. ;)
This kind of writing is what really bothers me about the internet. You know I have to read that kind of stuff all the time while grading papers. I don’t want to have to wade through atrocious grammar and syntax just to figure out what some reviewer is trying to say. Don’t any of these sites screen these people? Remember when you had to have a journalism degree and/or experience to write articles?
No. Barrier. To. Entry.
Baseball is one big ass-lover’s game. Stupid sport. To watch, at least. Playing it’s fun. But umm… not because of the ass.
Holy crap.
The worst thing is that all the reviewers there write like that. This guy is not an anomaly.
Though a clause like this:
“…to graphic whores like me…”
is hard to beat.
Troy
Oh, I dunno… The tight pants on those uniforms can be kinda hard to get off a squirming hunk of man.
Actually that looks a bit like something Hubert Selby (author of Last Exit to Brooklyn) might write.
I’m disappointed that they don’t mention the game’s name as many times per paragraph as Gamespot.
Even though it packs in a lot of value, if you weren’t particularly enchanted by Heroes IV, the new expansion probably won’t change your mind. Then again, if you’re enough of a Heroes fan to have played Heroes IV and The Gathering Storm, and you can’t wait to play more, you should consider picking up Winds of War. The expansion is extremely similar to the previous games, but if you care more about the series’ engaging turn-based gameplay and colorful presentation, you’ll find enough in Winds of War to keep you busy for some time.
I think this is a review of some Heroes expansion.
What happened to OMM?
olaf
Developers, fan sites and game review sites banded together, in the Million Geek March, dragging Chet and Erik behind their chariots as punishment for daring to poke fun at gamers, game design flaws and conventions, and game reviewers who took no notice of them.
OMM didnt die a sudden death, just fewer and fewer updates. In thier last year, I think they only had 4 updates at all, and the year before was like 8 of them.
Its a shame though, it was the funniest site on the whole damm internet. Those rants were truly priceless, if only I could rant so well…
And when was this?
Yeah, I actually read that one, it’s a review of the 2nd xpack for a game that already has an xpack. I hate how that paragraph actually tries to make a distinction between the main game and the 2 xpacks, like what, I want to keep track of them? When I click on a review of a Heroes expansion, I want all differing products to be referred to vaguely and have everything run together into an unintelligible mess. So I can’t even tell what game I’m reading about. Forget mentioning different products by name. Also, there isn’t enough baseball player ass in that review.
Writing well has little or nothing to do with having a journalism degree. J-schools teach a specific type of writing, that’s often more suitable for writing news than features or reviews. (That’s the writing side of J-schools – there are other subjects they teach, like ethics, that are useful).
Really, the best way to learn to write is to write – a lot. Then have people critique your writing. Critique it yourself. Then rewrite.
Of course, this is hard work, and not exactly core to what a kewel l33t gamez reviewer might consider his core competency.
One other recommendation I’d make to anyone is to pick up a copy of The Elements of Style by Strunk & White. It’s thin and concise, so isn’t a heavy read.
Pardon me for the rant, but I care about writing. I like to think of myself as a writer first, and a tech guy second.
Cheers,
Loyd Case
I’d recommend against taking that book completely seriously. Otherwise your writing will be duller and drier than AP News wires.
I’d recommend against taking that book completely seriously. Otherwise your writing will be duller and drier than AP News wires.[/quote]
Sure. Just like E.B. White’s work.
Loyd Case
I’d recommend against taking that book completely seriously. Otherwise your writing will be duller and drier than AP News wires.[/quote]
Sure. Just like E.B. White’s work.[/quote]
Come on Loyd, even you have to admit that Charlotte’s Web was a mixed bag of eye candy. Spooge! Spooooooooooooooooooge!
One other recommendation I’d make to anyone is to pick up a copy of The Elements of Style by Strunk & White. It’s thin and concise, so isn’t a heavy read.
Best. Book. Evar.
Lots of rules to know when to break.