Oreos Make Kids Fat, SiNNER Files Public Interest Lawsuit

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20030512/ap_on_fe_st/oreo_suit_1

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAH.

Kill the lawyer. Now.

The big difference between this suit and others that have targeted tobacco and McDonald’s fast food is that consumers know that tobacco is bad for their health and that McDonald’s food contains a lot of fat, Joseph said.

This might be a bad thing for the guy who’s suing McDonalds because he thought ‘All beef patty’ meant ‘healthy’.
Or the two women suing because McDonald’s food is hard to resist.

And this guy thought Oreos weren’t fatty? That’s as believable as thinking a diet of McDonald’s burgers is healthy.

This should be in news of the weird. Next up: Diet sodas contain strange chemicals.

These suits really bother me. Oreos have nutritional info ON THE PACKAGE!!! What more can they do? Everybody knows cookies are fattening. If you do not know that, you are an idiot. We need a large set of idiot laws to stop this kind of thing. How about this:

Idiot Law number One:

Always ask a smart person what to do.

Not that I’m saying the lawsuit has any merit, but what they are arguing is that the trans fats aren’t listed on the label at all, and trans fats are supposedly directly associated with heart disease. The National Academy of Sciences says that no trans fat should be eaten by anyone, ever.

That white stuff in the oreos? apparently, it’s mostly trans fat.

Anyhow, it’s stupid to try to get the cookies banned. I can see trying to get the trans fat listed on the label, but that’s about it.

So its the trans fats that make them so yummy. Learn something new every day.

The National Academy of Sciences says that no trans fat should be eaten by anyone, ever.

Whoa, google says you’re right. Shit.

I am not up on the ingredients found in chemically enhanced pure sugar foodstuffs so just so I am clear: Trans fats are those sucked from overweight transvestites and transgendered people, right?

Oh shit, I don’t think I’ll be able to eat an Oreo in a long time.

That would probably be better for you. :)

I think hydrogenated vegetable oil is one of the main culprits. That’s where you take a garden variety unsaturated fat and bubble hydrogen gas through it, which makes it solid at room temperature. It also makes some sort of change to the chemical makeup that makes it look like saturated fat.

FYI, the lawsuit was thrown out.

And remember, folks: Eating anything, anywhere, anytime, will kill you. That second. So don’t ever eat anything again or you will die. A very vicious death. By some new and very wow-whee disease.

If you are referring to the Oreo lawsuit, it was dropped - not thrown out. The plaintiff says that he has drawn public attention to the isue of trans-fats and is content with Kraft’s efforts to remove or replace trans-fats in their products.

Troy

Damn. And to think I spent my youth making “quadruple stuff” Oreos out of the Double Stuff cookies…

I think I’m overdue for a heart attack.

Isn’t there a correlation between trans fats and saturated fats? It DOES list the saturated fats, which are “bad fats”. Is there an easy way to measure trans fats?

Eh, one source says thrown out, another says dropped, I could care less as long as that dumbfuck lawyer knows he had no case.

Trans fats look a lot like saturated fats to your body, but the problem is they aren’t technically saturated fats so they don’t have to be listed on the label. I think. That’s what I get from the 15 minutes of googling I did when I posted above, anyway.

Here’s basically the problem: FDA wants to put trans fats on the label, companies that use trans fats because they are cheap don’t want them on the label because then the 5% of consumers* that actually check the label will get upset and won’t buy the product.

Apparently, trans fats are in a bunch of stuff that is labelled low-fat or fat-free, because they are an oil rather than a classical fat.

[size=2]*number pulled from my ass[/size]

What the fuck do they mean that ‘no’ trans fat should ever be eaten? The stuff is all over the place. I would expect a substance so bad would be directly related to a huge number of deaths if it were really so dangerous. Or maybe they just mean that the Oreos etc. are just going to kill me someday. Maybe 2050, maybe 2060, but they’ll get me. Since I’ve overdosed on the stuff by INFINITY PERCENT, I really should get my affairs in order.

And does anyone remember what Nabisco used to use instead of trans fats? Just about 15 years ago, the magic ingredient was lard. That was one of the selling points for the similar but crappy Hydrox - they didn’t have animal lard and thus were preferred by vegetarians & those keeping kosher diets.

Heh. Good point. Of course, they are saying you should never eat trans fat, not “if you eat any you will die.” You should never speed either, but it won’t kill you if you do (or even land you in jail…unless you are the Dukes of Hazzard*)

  • [size=2]outdated reference…for effect![/size]