Painkiller

Painkiller

Link doesn’t work yet, guess I’ll have to try again later.

In particular, it generates a permission error, not a 404 or anything. But I can sum up any review of Painkiller quickly for ya:

Great. Fuckin. Game.

Ack, you guys quit poking around! Go watch the jumping lizard movie or something.

 -Tom

Work faster.

Perhaps you could drop a copy of the jumping lizard movie into the /inhouse/reviews/37/ folder, and save us the hassle of switching forums.

Way to spoil the end boss, Tom.

Oh Jesus. Here I am, flipping through my new CGW, when I see a Painkiller review featuring a shot of Hell. “That’s odd,” I thought. “Two reviews of PK that both show parts of the last level.”

Scan to the end, and guess who wrote it. Tom Chick, does your treachery have no end?

I was driving down 490 yesterday, through downtown Rochester, and as I rounded the curve on the south side of the Inner Loop I saw a new billboard that featured a panoramic screenshot of the Hell level from Painkiller. Just that, and one small line of text at the bottom: “Compliments of Tom Chick.”

Damn you, Tom!!!

I had a near death experiance but instead of seeing a light, I saw the last level of Painkiller. I was like, “Wow. This is so awesome.” Then I woke up.

I’m late to the party on this one, complements of my antediluvian machine, which is a velocipedic abacus powered by the dusty foot pedalling of a tiny, centagenarian-plus dwarf who lives inside. Instead of electricity, it is fueled by pouring lukewarm camomile, brandy and black shag tobacco through a funnel in the top of it.

Painkiller is pretty righteous. At first, I didn’t quite “get” it - it doesn’t really start getting interesting until the second episode, since the first episode is almost entirely limited to shooting skeletons in dungeons. But now, I can’t get enough of the incredible enemy design, the fast action, the Aria of Sorrow-esque tarot system and the varied, totally awesome level design. It’s really the best pick-up game since Crimsonland, in my book: one of those games you can play for twenty minutes, see a dozen different cool things, and then quit out of feeling immensely satisfied. The tarot system really adds a lot to the game: I actually find replaying levels to beat the challenges to be one of the most satisfying parts of the game. Trying to beat the first mission boss under 2 minutes now… that’s gonna be rough.

An absolutely beautiful, completely smooth running game too. I’m getting butter smooth frame rates on my machine, which is a full 500mhz lower than the minimum system requirements on the box. Load times are a bit long and I’m playing at 800x600 (which is fine - the max on my monitor is 1024x768, so there’s negligible video degradation going down a notch) but otherwise everything is at highest details and I’m getting awesome frame rates. Man, way to go on not fubaring the min sys requirements a la Halo, Dreamcatcher - hell, I think you probably could have brought them down a notch.

My only criticisms are that the secret areas are annoyingly impossible to reach, the “secret” usually being “take advantage of an engine quirk to scale a completely vertical wall”. Also, tarot card objectives like “break all objects” totally chug my cock.

Think you mean Circle of the Moon.

The first boss is easy to beat in under 2 minutes, but only if you wait and do it after you get a certain very useful golden card.

No, I meant Aria of Sorrow and the “souls”. I just meant it in the entire “collect for powers” sense. Maybe Circle has an actual Tarot system, dunno - never played it. I assume it is functionally the same.

I can’t find a screenshot of it, but Circle has a card system that’s similar, but different in that the ability you get is based on the specific combination you have selected.

But I see what you mean.

What the hell is Ratchet & Clank 2?

— Alan

About time you tried Painkiller, Colonel Coffin! Next up for you, Dominions 2!

As per the link in the review, it is Tom Chick’s Favorite Game of 2003. Right now, Painkiller occupies an identical slot for 2004. :)

Earlier today, I got myself all worked up trying to convince Desslock to try Painkiller. So I just now finished playing Abandoned Factory. Ugh, I can’t seem to line up 30 kills in one demon morph to unlock that level’s Tarot card. But that’s the thing about Painkiller: even failure is fun!

 -Tom

Just last night, I was playing through Daikatana for the fourteenth time, and when I made it to the end boss, suddenly the game disappeared, and the Hell level of Painkiller appeared on my screen. God damn you Tom Chick!

As per the link in the review, it is Tom Chick’s Favorite Game of 2003. Right now, Painkiller occupies an identical slot for 2004. :)

Earlier today, I got myself all worked up trying to convince Desslock to try Painkiller. So I just now finished playing Abandoned Factory. Ugh, I can’t seem to line up 30 kills in one demon morph to unlock that level’s Tarot card. But that’s the thing about Painkiller: even failure is fun!

 -Tom[/quote]

That one was so easy though. You just store up 64 or so souls, then get to that huge open courtyard area with all of the one hit kill guys, then run around for a while. They’re easy to dodge, and they all just bunch up behind you… it’s like they’re begging to be nerfed all at once. It’s like they’re looking for a group rate on their trip to Hell.

Well, you were persuasive. I’ll pick it up next chance I have.

I gotta chime in, yes, great fucking game. You can tell the guy who had the overall concept loves Quake, and basically wanted to make a loving tribute, a homage, to Quake. If his concept had been, ‘I’m going to make a game that kicks Quake’s butt, better in every way’, I don’t think the end result would have been as good.

Of course, for me, every level is impossible…until I beat it. And I learn something new that helps me beat the next impossible level. I’ll shut up now, but really, these guys have just fucking nailed it, a game that doesn’t have any pretensions to be other than what it is, just a game, fun and entertaining.

DeanCo–