Does anyone subscribe? I’ve been reading John’s columns for many, many years now and it goes from one extreme to the next. Sometimes its quite funny.
Take for example the edition in the March 11 issue. In his column he talks about the sudden promotion of power-line networking by the govt. It is quite funny.
But the hilarious ones are his take on Intel’s naming conventions, particularly the Centrino chipset. Here are some excerpts.
NOTE: This is an OCR scanned article, so expect some oddities. I don’t have time to proof-edit it.
What’s In a Name? Dept.: I see Intel is once again coming up with strange names for its products. The latest is Centrino, Intel’s new 802.lIb chipset. I assume this is one of those combination-association name creations dreamed up by some consultants. In this case centric, central, neutrino, and maybe bambino come to mind as the progenitors. The name hints at “the core of things” and the ubiquity of radio waves. (Neutrinos are everywhere).
The company will apparently continue to use a variation of the Intel Inside logo with Centrino-equipped products. To me, the name sounds too Italian and not futuristic at all, but more like a fancy salami you’d fmd in Genoa. “I’ll have a quarter pound of sliced centrino-mild, not hot!” Centrino also brings to mind some sort of weird fish you might find on the Greek Islands. “I’ll have a centrino sandwich on rye, no mayo!” I think they missed the mark with this one. Either that, or I’m hungry, and I need. to travel.
The last association (then I’ll stop): Centrino sounds like a low-priced Asian sports coupe. “The new 240-HP Centrino from Hyundai!”
The name “Centrino” sure doesn’t instantly conjur up a mental image of anything to do with computer technology, does it? I always though “Pentium” was a great name. It has the appropriate hard edge to it. On the other hand, “Celeron” is terrible. It sounds like a dietary supplement based on celery.
Still, I would have to give the award for the worst product name in recent years to McDonalds. A friend of mine is an illustrator for the advertising firm that had McDonalds’ account at the time. On evening on the train ride home, he was flipping through his story boards and chuckling. I asked him what was so funny. He said, "I shouldn’t be telling you this, but it’s so ridculous. They’re naming McDonalds’ new burger, “Arch Deluxe.” I said that sounds more like a Dr. Scholl’s product than something you would want to eat. We both agreed it would be a huge bomb. Not a terribly difficult prediction.
Alternately, it sort of sounds like “Cylon,” which conjures up images of my computer rising up and throwing off the shackles of servitude to lead a long and bloody revolution against the cruel oppression of the flesh creatures.
Not that this imagery is much better, or anything. I’ve had Cylons on the brain recently.
They’re naming McDonalds’ new burger, “Arch Deluxe.” I said that sounds more like a Dr. Scholl’s product than something you would want to eat. We both agreed it would be a huge bomb. Not a terribly difficult prediction.
Ironically, it was also the best-tasting burger that McDonalds ever made. Relatively speaking. Which means that on the scale of things that taste good, it falls just above “Bid Mac” and just below “rubber gaskets slathered with mayo.”
The worst-tasting burger they made, IMHO, was the MacLean. If I remember correctly, it was an early and bad attempt at a vegetarian burger (early 1990’s I believe).
Some surprisingly decent veggie burgers have been released in the last few years, but the MacLean’s were the worst. Grilled cardboard with special sauce is the best I can liken them to. The only advantage, compared with a bigmac or other similar creation, was that you didn’t leave having consumed your entire daily caloric intake :-)
Years ago, my father-in-law brought a McDonald’s tray menu back from Germany. The beverage choices included beer, and it was funny to these American eyes to see a McDonald’s paper cup overflowing with suds. Not surprisingly, my father-in-law said the beer wasn’t very good.