People finding

Okay, just to keep this to the point - I met this girl on my vacation, we hit it off pretty well and so she gave me a cocktail napkin with her adresss (email and postal). Now that I am home, I unpacked my ish only to find that the napkin was not among them. I tried looking everywhere, and its gone. Forever. So, I now have to find her somehow and contact her, otherwise we may never talk again. I don’t remember her last name, but I know the city she lives in, that she goes to a private catholic school (senior year), her birthday was two months ago, and that her parents work for the government. I know what she looks like, and a few other general facts, but nothing solid. Is there anything I can do? Do any of you know where to go for something like this? Or did I just blow it big time? Help! On the lighter side of things, Montreal is a great place to vacation to, not to mention that Canada has a $2 coin.

Here we go again…

Hire a private eye in her city.

I inquired, but i need a full name. I guess all is lost, huh?

Don’t write important information on napkins? If you do, and there are times when we all have to rely on napkin writing, don’t lose it before you can copy it elsewhere?

What the hell were you doing figuring the napkin would last until you got home, anyway? If the girl was that great, you should have copied the info ten different places right after you got to your hotel.

Construct a map based on the positions of the stars when you were on the Earth 2 million years ago, such that the map points to where you believe your cave to have been. Go to that house and knock.

Goddamn. I found a cocktail napkin with no name but an email address and a postal address in Montreal. So what’s this chick look like?

The last couple times I stalked people it was google all the way.

If you don’t know what school she goes to, search for all Catholic schools in her city. Then search for her first name within that. If she does any kind of extracurricular activity (including sports or theatre) her name will come up. Maybe she’s won some awards or something and got her picture taken.

If you remember what domain her e-mail was on, that might help, too. Search for her first name + domain + hometown. Maybe one of her friends has a blog. Stalk the hell out of them, too.

Jesus christ, you fucking said it, man. How in the hell can he never learn? How many times does it take?

To the people considering offering him serious advice: maybe we shouldn’t be helping the same guy who posts his little-brother-murder-fantasies advice on HOW TO STALK A GIRL. JUST A THOUGHT.

If that’s how you choose vacation locations then Australia totally does not have $2 coins. At all. Kthx.

Ina word, “Yes!”

Get over it.

You could try to find her in last year’s yearbook, or you could take out classified ads in local papers

Just stop it ok?

You all just need to stop giving “helpful” suggestions.

Just consider her the “big one that got away” ok Captain?

Just forget it.

Like you’re going to have a long-distance relationship with an 18 year old that you met on vacation? Like that ever worked for anybody.


Just so you know what you’re in for, this is what happened the last time someone asked for help in this department.

Well, I’m glad you remember what she looks like! You don’t remember her last name and you couldn’t even put the napkin in a safe, secure place you’d remember, much less transcribe it to something permanent. Do you not have a cell phone? Or wallet?

No offense, but fucking forget this chick, Cap. Not only are long-term relationships stupid, long-term burgeoning relationships with 18-year-old Catholic girls whose parents work for the government are many, many kinds of stupid. Or just really, really difficult and expensive. Also, if you can’t keep her vital info secure until you get home, what the fuck makes you think you’ll pull off a satisfactory relationship with her? Canada? Is she from there, or was she also visiting? Where do you live again? Fuck it, it doesn’t matter. In a few months she’ll be some distant memory, and you won’t remember what she looked like. It’s better that way.

I’d think about how/why you hit it off with her. Can you reproduce that situation in a local setting, with a local girl? Can you rap? Also, sometimes realtionships spark up because of the vacation setting, but they may not be much to them beyond that. I dunno, what the fuck do I know?

Also, this is totally awesome because you just dropped the “She lives in Canada, you wouldn’t know her” line without even knowing it.

In Cappy’s defense, that was a for a guy who hadn’t even talked to the girl he wanted to stalk. This case is one where the two not only talked, but the girl actually expressed real interest.

As for help finding her, I’m kinda surprised that with all those details a private investigator said that he couldn’t do anything without a full name, but perhaps I read too many Kinsey Milholm books. Beyond that, Google is a better source than you may realize, but you have to learn how to search well. It always surprises me how bad people’s search terms are when I watch them search. I found an ex-girlfriend’s wedding, address, her job, her husband’s job, and her salary with only her name and high school.

Well, you can always search around for something like that extends to Canada, eh?

Oh, and about the only way a long distance thing like this could possibly work is if you could convince her to go to college near where you live. Preferably along with several of her hot friends. That way, when it eventually goes wrong, you have some backups. :P

I’m sure that a private investigator roaming around Dingdong Kansas searching for young Catholic girls won’t bother anybody in the slightest.