Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

Pirates 5. Depp again.

QUEENSLAND, Australia (February 17, 2015) – Production has commenced on location in Australia on Disney and Jerry Bruckheimer Films’ epic comedy adventure “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales,” directed by Espen Sandberg & Joachim Rønning (“Kon-Tiki”), the fifth entry in the blockbuster franchise inspired by the classic Disney Theme Parks attraction, which has reaped $3.7 billion in worldwide box office. “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales” will film entirely at Village Roadshow Studios and on locations within Queensland, Australia.

Johnny Depp returns to his iconic, Academy Award®-nominated role of Captain Jack Sparrow, one of the most beloved characters in motion picture history, newly joined by Oscar® winner Javier Bardem (“No Country for Old Men,” “Skyfall”), rising young stars Kaya Scodelario (“The Maze Runner,” British television’s “Skins”) and Brenton Thwaites (“Maleficent,” “The Giver”) and Golshifteh Farahani (“The Patience Stone,” “Exodus: Gods and Kings”). Rejoining the action are Academy Award winner Geoffrey Rush as Barbossa, Kevin R. McNally as Joshamee Gibbs and Stephen Graham as Scrum.

Thrust into an all-new adventure, a down-on-his-luck Captain Jack Sparrow finds the winds of ill-fortune blowing even more strongly when deadly ghost pirates led by his old nemesis, the terrifying Captain Salazar (Bardem), escape from the Devil’s Triangle, determined to kill every pirate at sea…including him. Captain Jack’s only hope of survival lies in seeking out the legendary Trident of Poseidon, a powerful artifact that bestows upon its possessor total control over the seas.

Directed by Espen Sandberg & Joachim Rønning (Kon-Tiki)

Script by Jeff Nathanson (“Catch Me If You Can,” “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull”)

Pass.

I never saw 3 or 4. Even if 4 did share a subtitle with one of my favorite Tim Powers novels.

Was Crystal Skull that bad? I’ve avoided that one as well.

It was. Don’t change your mind. As for Pirates 5, I skipped the last couple myself, so pass as well unless it gets stellar reviews from sources I trust.

The alternate title is Pirates V: Further Exploitation

Yeah, it was that bad. But like the Star Wars prequels, you kind of have to see it to really understand how bad. Just suck it up one weekend, Gus, and rent the darn thing. You can take some encouragement knowing that you’ll get to see Shia LaBeouf getting whacked in the crotch with huge tropical flowers.

-Tom

But…no-one should be exposed to the Shudders monkeys…oh god the monkeys.

Crystal Skull: The one in which Shia LeBeouf has magical animal empathy, and sends his hordes of Demon monkeys at the Reds.

I remember thinking, academically speaking, that almost all of the criticisms leveled at Indy4 (the fewer keystrokes wasted on it, the better) could just as well be applied to Temple of Doom. But somehow Temple of Doom rises above all that to be irresistible at times.

But then I caught a glance of Indy4 again at Scarecrow Video, waiting to rent a movie. It’s that bad. Bad enough that I want to lay it on with another post.

Here’s the first officially released image:

Really that could be from any of the films.

I want to know how he grew that much grey hair.

Mortdecai made him grey.

Very meta.

LIKE

I love the “It wasn’t ME.” look

Here’s the teaser trailer:

It looks like Bardem is playing undead Silva from Skyfall.

Is it odd that I’m getting optimistic about this one?

That’s looks like a lot of fun!

That does look good, though I even enjoyed #2 and #3 so what do I know?