SCIENTISTS have been warned that their latest experiments may accidently produce monkeys with brains more human than animal.
In cutting-edge experiments, scientists have injected human brain cells into monkey fetuses to study the effects.
Critics argue that if these fetuses are allowed to develop into self-aware subjects, science will be thrown into an ethical nightmare.
An eminent committee of American scientists will call for restrictions into the research, saying the outcome of such studies cannot be predicted and may in fact produce subjects with a ‘super-animal’ intelligence.
The high-powered committee of animal behaviourists, lawyers, philosophers, bio-ethicists and neuro-scientists was established four years ago to examine the growing numbers of human/monkey experiments.
These procedures, known as ‘human-primate chimeras’, involve the combination of human and monkey cells, tissue and DNA to observe any effect and examine the possibility that such combination could actually exist.
I know it’s not a serious question, but “chimera” started to climb out of the Monster Manual and back into everyday English in 2002, when a bunch of nutters in white coats implanted human stem cells into mouse embryos.
But forget chimeras. Bring on the black puddings and gelatinous cubes! The LARP community really needs to get behind this research.
When I was in New York City this spring, I saw a piece in a Chelsea gallery that I swear was a direct ripoff of the D&D Monster Manual’s Gibbering Mouther. It was this big, amorphous plastic mass with a bunch of small, live televisions embedded in it, each showing looping footage of eyes blinking and looking around, or mouths opening and closing. The thing is, the overall shape of the thing was exactly the same as the illustration in the original Monster Manual. It can’t have been a coincidence. Some former D&D-playing artist is laughing his ass off because he knows that nobody who buys that piece is going to get the reference.