Portal 2 thread of Rotten Potatoes and Other Spoilers


Creating this now as a pre-emptive measure against any GODDAMNED spoilers going in the other “Portal 2 Announced” thread.

And yet, I was still compelled to click on it.

So, who offered to turn their body into a host for GLaDOS during the postscript? I can’t see them doing a bifurcated plot in Portal 3, so that must mean that we’re saying bye to Chell in the sequel. Alternately they’ll just do the lame “everyone picked THIS option” which kind of defeats the point of letting you choose in the first place.


Why is everything soo goddamned giganteous?

Portal 2 is like the movie Cube raised to the power 3. Seriusly… WTF?, is like if Atlantis is raising from the sea, and at the same time is destroyed, and everything in betwen, … way too much of everything! :D

1st portal device poster:

Also I have 522 screenshots from the start to the end of the game, if anyone is interested.

There’s an awful lot of quotes in this game that would look really good in hateful bug reports.

Did anyone think that they would be playing half a game with a potato powered AI on their arm?

Also the Cave Johnson parts were amazing, I was so sad when I left that area, and his last broadcast message also made me sad.

I just finished it, and I did NOT expect that ending. Holy shit, I was tripping balls at my computer with my hands on my head.

The game was so well divided in the three settings, perfect for a three sitting completion. In 6 hours, which is probably the best 6 hours of entertainment I have had this year.

I would have liked more Black Mesa and Half Life crossovers, but in the end, Portal does smashingly as it’s own separate thing.

Thank you Valve, for making this. Now get back to work on my Episode 3 and Left 4 dead 3 please!

Sheer insanity. I was DYING in the bit after the song.

“In spaaace!”
"Yes, that’s right chap, we are!

So good, so very, very good. I wasn’t expecting much (in hindsight stupid that) but was blown away.

Achievement spoiler: One thing I have to mention is the secret dry-dock for the Borealis. When I say that I mean a dry-dock 4000m underground (at least I think that’s what the wall said). I mean holy shit that’s epic. A ship. 4km underground.

Portal 2 hooked me before I even left the first room with the “Press Spacebar to say Apple” bit. I had high expectations for Portal 2 after playing the first, and it most certainly did not disappoint. Stephen Merchant was absolutely amazing as Wheatley.

The fact sphere at the endgame (or whatever one that just seems to produce random trivia) is bloody hilarious. Some of it’s lines are just gold in their delivery.

“At some point in their lives, one in 6 children will be abducted by the Dutch”

“Whales are twice as intelligent and 3 times as delicious as humans”

“The first person to prove that cow’s milk is drinkable was very, very thirsty”

But then, nothing beats the first sphere.


There was no part of it I didn’t enjoy. I took about 8-9 hours without rushing, and that was about the perfect length for it. It’s the most a game’s made me laugh out loud in a long, long time, from Wheatley’s super-AI hacking abilities ("…and…there’s a flat bit…anyone asks if there’s a flat bit, I’ve got that sorted…") to inspired bitchy assholery from GladOS, to Cave Johnson’s recordings for the gel testing facilities. One of my main concerns is that the longer running time would start making things stale by the end, but it finished out as strong as it started for me.

I had three points where I briefly got stuck, and all of them were satisfyingly head-smacking when I suddenly saw what I was missing. One of those was literally just not seeing where to go next and somehow overlooking the view angle to a portal surface (Wheatley has the best turret deathtraps ever), the other two were pure cases of not fully thinking through the tools available to me at the time, suddenly realizing one more application of what was in the current chamber and everything falling into place like dominoes after.

Took me just shy of 7 hours. The three major settings were really smart - you got taunted by a different personality in each one, so it never got stale. The puzzles were really great this time around. In the first Portal I was a little disappointed that you never got any really brain-bending puzzles, but this one satisfied.

I think the defective turrets were my favorite. “Wait, so everyone’s supposed to be blind, not just me? Well, all right then, let’s do this!”

Actually according to this maybe it was longer than 7 hours. Certainly felt like more than that.

Wait, what? When does that come up? Gah, now I have to go play it again. I was going to do a commentary run anyway.

Steam says I played 9 hours, which is quite a bit for me over 2 days. I spent a good amount of time trying to paint entire rooms with the portal gel.

There really should be achievements tied to being unnecessarily generous with the gels. The portal gel especially, I’m pretty sure I used thousands of unnecessary gallons. Good thing that portaling removes the moondust toxins, and quite likely also your tumors.

Cave Johnson’s estate owes Chell at least sixty bucks.

Finished up the single player today and got through the co-op last night. I really enjoyed it and there were so many moments that made me laugh. The only complaint that I had was using the gel and making tricky jumps wasn’t as forgiving in some parts. There were several times that I died not because I didn’t solve the puzzle right but because I didn’t jump at the right moment during my run.

Okay, I’ve got to ask.

When Glados is all “Here, take the last test!” and Wheatley is like “Oh, how stupid do you think we are”, and then you run like hell… what happens if you take the last test?

At a guess, death?