Menzo
1638
There’s no mechanism in the Constitution to seat Biden early. Pence would 100% become the President during the lame duck session.
Best laugh of the week, that there
Scotten
1640
Did someone invoke the name of Cain?
The Westeros Wing - Series Finale
After insisting for weeks that he has recovered from the virus, the President is rushed to Walter Reed Memorial Hospital in the dead of night only days before the election. His spokespeople and doctors assure the country that the President is fine, it is all precautionary, and even release photos of the President working, but detailed internet analysis of the photos shows the President’s hands to be much too regular-sized and one photo in particular, showing the President drinking a glass of water using only one hand, sets speculation abuzz that something is not right.
On Election night, the President is soundly defeated in a landslide. A few half-hearted attempts to challenge election results are made by various GOP groups, but it is quickly apparent that there is no overcoming the gap. The President’s people say that he is both too sick to make a concession speech but also that he is working relentlessly for the good of the American people. Executive orders appear from within Walter Reed declaring the Monday after the election as the start of Infrastructure Week, and promising a full and complete Health Care Plan in two weeks.
On the Sunday after the election, America wakes to dire news. The President has passed away overnight, and the Vice President has been sworn in for the remainder of the President’s term. A week of national mourning ensues, culminating with the President’s coffin, closed at the request of family, lying in state in the Capital Rotunda. The Vice President, acting as President, issues a formal pardon for any and all possible crimes committed by the former President and his family and aides. A peaceful transition of power occurs on January 21st, 2021, and the new President gets to work on solving the many issues facing the nation.
In late February, rumors begin circulating of a mysterious figure living in the penthouse of the former President’s property in Moscow. T-Anon, a right-wing conspiracy group, discovers evidence that the former President’s adult children have been making regular business trips to this property since shortly after the election (the former President’s widow moved to Miami with a former member of her security detail within weeks of his passing). Speculation abounds that the former President may be alive and well when this mysterious figure begins Tweeting criticisms of the current Administration under the name Ronald Crump. Millions of T-Anon followers are convinced the tweets are a call to action. They quit their jobs and move to Russia to support their leader. America lives happily ever after.
Roll Credits.
Menzo
1642
I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
Thrag
1643
Not enough main characters die in horrible ways.
Alstein
1645
That’s still a massive improvement. Pence wouldn’t wreck things on purpose, and he gets the legacy of being an ex-president, he will end up less hated if he does it competently.
Joe needs to stay at Blair House for months while they disinfect and deep clean the place
MrTibbs
1647
He’s back with an all-caps message, sporting an extra spiffy orange patina.
rowe33
1648
WTF, he didn’t say we have the greatest accountants in the world. F you, Trump!
Can’t wait for the day we never hear this asshole’s voice & manner of speaking again, except in posthumous documentaries.
Regeneron, it’s called Regeneron, and it’s FREE. The military will LOGISTICS it.
The day we never have to give a shit what this asshole has to say will be a blessing from God.
Two weeks after the election.
Obligatory “2 weeks” meme
One very obvious cut around 1:50 there may be more. Makeup on extra thick, wonder if the usual person called out sick. Also face kind of looks like he had a stroke, his right side not as expressive eye almost closed.
Well. I’m strongly considering voting for Biden now.
He sure is talking fast, I wonder what happened @1:50 that they had to cut out.
Time out for defibrillation.
If Trump is dead, then Pence is President, so should tonight’s debate be canceled?
No, just fly new VP Tucker Carlson out for the debate.
