I don't think you are being entirely fair here, Tom.
I will grant you that there is nothing in Beyond that could be considered objective or challenge-based game play, and in fact, Beyond may not even be properly classified as a game at all. I will also grant you that the various choices you make don't actually change the core narrative of the game (until the end) and that they are superfluous to the gameplay (which as I have already admitted, doesn't really exist).
All that being said, Beyond really did have an effect on me, and I actually quite enjoyed its narrative. Some of that is a direct result of getting to choose those "inconsequential" options. What Quantic Dream is doing (and I admit that they haven't quite mastered it yet) is making something like movies that require a level of engagement of the viewer that simply isn't required in purely passive entertainment. Sure you didn't care about whether Jodie wound up with her "boyfriend character model", but let's say that you did (as I did), even remotely. Thinking about how Jodie should respond to her interactions with him forces you to reflect on the narrative presented. How would I react? How should she react, given what I know about her? If you become invested (and I understand that you didn't) Quantic is really onto something here. It's really no different than the 14 options Bioware used to give its player character when responding to dialogue (before the wheel o' dialogue stances took all that away). You are roleplaying.
Interactive media doesn't have to be a game, per se, as I think you readily acknowledge in your review of Gone Home. For me, I found Beyond to be far more affecting than that particular game, and I think the writing and performance is vastly superior to Heavy Rain (which I also enjoyed). So I feel you are doing a disservice to a game which I think is one of the best in the system's late life, and one which I think has the capability (if decidedly not the guarantee) of being profoundly affecting to players that meet it half way.