Punisher - War Zone

Come on - who dares see this? The trailers make the 1980s Dolph Lundgren Punisher look awesome. Poor Pullo

Wayne Knight fans? He plays The Punisher’s weapon guy, and I presume his performance seeps with regret and possible gambling debts.


“Hellooo, Frank.

The makeup they have the bad guy in is straight out of the old Dick Tracy film. My word!

Poor Pullo

Pullo and McNulty.

This movie was bad, but so bad it’s good. If there’s nothing else that interests you in theaters right now, watch it.

The violence was way over the top excessive, if you’re into that.

The bad guys were laughably unrealistic in their interactions with each other, but when I say that, I actually mean I laughed. I think their bad acting must have been intentional.

One of the bad guys has a pretty cool fight scene with the Punisher.

The black guy from Resident Evil, Colin Salmon, did a good job with his character.

So did Wayne Knight and the doofy psychologist.

The chick from Dexter plays a hot widow, and she is hot. And the director is a hot chick.

The Punisher’s actor played a stoic badass dude only at about an average level (I hope this does not bode poorly for The Book of Eli). The moments where he was being quiet for emotional impact just kind of blended in with the other points in the movie where he’s quiet, cuz he rarely says a word.

The mobsters attempt poor emulations of the affectations of the gangsters in The Sopranos.

The pseudo-noir look of the movie sometimes looks dumb.

Could someone explain to me why there has been 3 seperate unrelated Punisher movies? They’ve all been box office flops, they’ve all been horrible, and they all have been awful adaptions.

Lose a bet, have to greenlight a Punisher movie.

I have no real idea, but I would speculate it’s because at a glance, it looks like an easy win. Three movies obviously beg to differ, but to the people greenlighting them, it must look like you’re getting to ride the current wave of comic popularity without risking anything, because the Punisher is just a dude who shoots people. You don’t have to find a way to translate some goofy costumes or outlandish-but-accepted-in-the-world-of-comics super powers or wacky origins to something palatable for the masses, it’s just a revenge story against some gangsters, or whatever.

Also, the lack of outlandish powers/characters/locales means you don’t need a big budget. Some people, some guns, that’s about it. It was more surprising to me that we got another Hulk than another Punisher for this reason.

The most recent Hulk movie was awesome.

The last one actually made money; there is sadly no correlation between the three.

Which is why the choice of Jigsaw as the villain was a head-scratcher.

Wasn’t this the movie that Thomas Jane refused to be a part of? Or did that get deep sixed and this was a new abomination?

So how’s McNulty in this? Does he make it worth seeing?

You shouldn’t make us Google just to understand what you mean. That actor’s performance in this movie cannot be described as “good.” As a mobster pre-mutilation, he has all the gravity of a sixth grader in a class play. Once he’s Jigsaw, his actions are implausible caricatures, and he almost has some kind of Japanese yaoi thing going on with the other main villain, his insane brother. He acts like… a comic book character.

First you name yourself after a Final Fantasy character, then you confess ignorance of the Best Show Ever. It’s all very disheartening. Thanks for the response though!

It’s not an FF character.

Here’s what sucks though:

Oooh buuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrn.

The RR mana cost was actually a misprint. The correct cost is R. And yeah, Goblin Sledder pissed me off even though I don’t play anymore, just because they didn’t use the original name.

Oh wow, look at that, you’re right. Kooky, you’re better than I thought.

Also Moggs don’t live on Dominaria, so obviously they couldn’t have reprinted Mogg Raider in that set.

So you’re saying the Punisher’s a pussy.

No, but I’m saying he has no work ethic.

Of course. I started with Ice Age, then Mirage, but didn’t really get into things until Tempest, and I think I’d know my own screenname’s card.

Also Moggs don’t live on Dominaria, so obviously they couldn’t have reprinted Mogg Raider in that set.

Man, screw the lore. I read like two of the books and one was only passable.