This is for simple English puns that have been beaten into everybody’s skull so thoroughly that we need to all agree to never use them again until everyone currently alive has died, at which point they may be fresh or at least not contemptible again. Workarounds are provided for the benefit of advertisers who would rather kill themselves than have an original thought.
Did you know that the words “berry” and “very” sound similar? Of course you do, if you’ve ever heard a single fucking ad for something that contains berries or berry flavor. Whatever it is, it’s guaranteed to be “berry good!”
Workaround: Hire spokespeople whose names can be punned similarly, such as “Berry” White or Mayor Marion “Berry.”
Any product designed with cat owners in mind is sure to be flawless. How are the manufacturers to convey this? Well, we’re in luck, because everyone knows that cats “purr,” so the product can be described as “purr-fect!”
Workaround: Mudslinging negative advertising for rival products, which are described as “purr-poseless” or “purr-functory.”
Anyone have other suggestions for puns that no one ever needs to hear again?