It’s a 2 vs 1 split for Drive Angry. If you don’t want us to spoil this white trash muscle car rock opera wanna-be, fast forward to the 44-minute mark for this week’s 3×3: our favorite moments involving assassins.
Just want to say that while I enjoy the whole podcast, Kelly Wand’s synopses are by far my favorite part. It always feels like I’m getting to eat my dessert before the rest of the meal. The 3x3 or movie discussion is occasionally not that great, but I have yet to be disappointed by one of the synopses.
Please continue, Mr. Wand.
“It’s called the Godkiller. Because it kills demons.”
Thanks, much appreciated. I guess I worry that dense extended globs of my voice can be annoying and that some stuff won’t make much sense for people who didn’t see the movie, which is usually everyone.
They are pretty fun to write, though. Except for the hard ones.
It’s how people make sense of the movie if they haven’t seen it. Most of the time, your version is better than the actual movie.
I have to say that I was totally surprised by how the “2 to 1” results turned out - I my thoughts were that the reactions would be the total opposite (sorry, Kelly). I thought that Nicholas cage just destroyed this movie and I was really hoping that he would pull out a Kick Ass type performance, but he was notinvolved here in any way. I liked parts of the movie, but there is always a ‘but’ that can be added to even te parts I liked.
William Fichtner was awesome, but 1). there wasn’t enough of him, 2). the coin trick was totally played wrong (FBI badge comes up twice, c’mon!) and 3). his role reversal at the end just sucked all of the menace out ofhis character.
Amber Heard was pretty awesome, but 1). she had virtually no motivation to be involved with Milton, 2). not even a gratuitous shower scene (!) and 3). I would have preferred the movie if she had been the protagonist - fuck Nic Cage and his mailed in performance.
The police captain was awesome, but 1). there wasn’t enough of him and 2). he just disappeared with no payoff (unless I slept through that part - Watch Sleepy, indeed!).
The idea of the bad guy, cult leader was awesome, but 1). he never did anything truly nasty and 2). Billy Burke never seemed all that crazy/scary. What a waste - seems like Charlie Sheen could have pulled this off with both hands tied behind his back. Maybe even Nic would have paid attention if he had been the bad guy.
The cars were awesome, but 1). there weren’t enough of them, 2). the evil machine is a Winnebago (???), and 3) why the hell did the friend unveil two cars in slo-mo and then they only used one.
The massive use of practical effects was cool, but they looked like shit most of the time. The worst was the “Nic Cage has been shot in the face” effect. This just looked stupid and I swear it changed sides at least once.
The nudity was fun, but 1). Amber Heard was not included and 2). The tread was pretty worn on the women who were nude.
All in all, the bad far out weighed the good for me and I can’t believe anyone, much less Tom and Dingus, would actually recommend seeing this piece of crap. I also have to add that the movie synopsis by Kelly never gets old and it was kind of hilarious the Kelly’s normally off the wall take was pretty much a scene for scene summary of this movie - no tangents needed when the movie is as all over the place as this one.
Great post, Kemper, but whoa, whoa, whoa:
I’m not sure we would do any such thing. There are plenty of movies I enjoy that I wouldn’t necessarily recommend. I think Drive Angry falls firmly in that category. :)
-Tom
If Drive Angry had been so much as a droplet of an Amber Heard movie the way Piranha was bang per buck a Kelly Brook movie, I wouldn’t have left angry.