What happens when two overly analytical dudes and Kelly Wand watch a summer creature feature? Find out on this week’s podcast. If you don’t want us to spoil Piranha 3D for you, fast forward to this week’s 3x3 for our favorite movie outfits. It starts at the one hour and three minute mark.
Good lord, this movie tanked! It made just $10 million and it came in 6th place. 6th! And it’s in 3D so it should have made extra money. Ouch.
3D is dead, long live… er… 4D!
Wait, did you guys just spoil the ending shot of Piranha 3D after the 3x3 music?
Kellywand implied that Infestation and Piranha 3D have the same ending,which they don’t. They do, however, have something in common with nearly every other horror movie that doesn’t have a pat ending. I just brought up Infestation because it’s such an egregious example. Also, one of the Feast movies – #2, I think? – ends with a giant robot stepping on one of the characters. Which might not seem like a big deal unless I point out that at no time previously has a robot, giant or otherwise, appeared in the movie.
By the way, if you don’t want to actually see the final scene in Piranha 3D, don’t watch the trailer.
- Which was a real festival of crap, but none of that compares to the cardinal sin of killing off Jenny Wade in the first few minutes of your godawful movie.
I mean, is there any other reason to see this thing?
Piranha 3D’s Spring-Break massacre scene is the Saving Private Ryan/Omaha Beach of creature features.
It’ll clean up as a rental, though; watch. That’s how Kelly Brook nude was meant to be savored.
After listening to this podcast, I really need to find out who this Kelly Brook person is.
Hm, this really makes me want to see Infestation. As opposed to Jaws 2, which also features a trim sheriff shimmying across a cable over water to boats full of teenagers we don’t give a shit about.
The Queen Mother of Spank Bankery.
Infestation is actually pretty good.
The ending I spoiled on the podcast was actually not the original ending. The “Look…” and “Holy shit!” were the transition to a happy ending where the characters meet up with other characters they thought had died. Everyone hugs and is happy and then the credits roll. To the director’s credit, he didn’t like the feel-good ending, so he cut after the “Holy shit!” to make it purposely ambiguous about what they see and what’s going to happen next. It kind of works, far better than Aja’s throwaway joke at the end of Piranha.
And I apologize in advance for talking about the ending of Infestation, which is a decent enough creature feature.
Wait, there’s a Feast 2?
And a Feast 3! Where have you been?
I don’t really recommend any of the Feast movies, but I will say that Feast 2 features my favorite gadget built from the unlikely combination of midgets, motorcycles, and strippers.
Now there’s a 3x3 waiting to happen! Or did I spoil Kelly’s next pick?
Wait wait wait? Kelly Brook and Kelly Wand are two different people? Oh no. Oh no.
Kelly don’t open that email.
Tom, I’m with you, the hand was totally a jump moment.
Does Left 4 Dead’s box-cover art count as a jump moment? Guess it did in Australia, huh.
Rewatch the movie, the hand pops up out of the water suddenly, he doesn’t just casually lift it and wave to us.
Not keeping up with my Feasting, apparently. I enjoyed Feast, but was a bit turned off by all the jump cutting. The self-aware humor was spot on, though.