Yeah, I kind of feel the same way. Even though I like bad (sea) creature features like Deep Blue Sea and Deep Rising, I had no interest in seeing this movie until it got reviews that I couldn’t ignore.
If I hadn’t known anything about it I might feel more kindly towards it because of the surprising amount of nudity and over-the-top carnage, but with people raving about it, calling it the first masterpiece of 2010 (!), etc. - I didn’t think it could possibly be bad, yet it’s pretty terrible.
I guess if you’re a “gore fan” there’s lots for you, but I just find it, well, gross. Yet I love r-rated violence as in the last Rambo, and wished the Expendables had been as violent – but seeing women scalped by outboard motors or split in half, blah. Didn’t really need to see the 3D barf or penis regurgitation scenes - just not as entertaining to me as seeing Stallone explode a jeep driver with a 50 caliber, or Lundgren blowing a pirate in half.
Basically the only things I liked were the 3D nudity, the cameos, and Jerry Connell’s performance (and anti-Girls Gone Wild subtext). Knew it was just intended as goofy fun so I didn’t care at all about plot holes or bad dialogue, but when boobs weren’t onscreen it was generally just lame and dull until the gorefest finale. Those kids and the lead actor, Steve McQueen’s grandson, really couldn’t have been less interesting. Elizabeth Shue has finally be relegated to the types of pictures she never should have graduated beyond,
They could have done a much better job with the creatures - at times there were hints of a better movie, like the scene with the cave exploration, and a couple of others where you could see shots of the school lurking in the distance or silhouettes that were kind of creepy. Shots of the school in motion or attacking from a more distant perspective would have worked better and established a better sense of menace than the constant close-up NOM NOM NOM chaos.
I miss the sound of the attacks from the original Piranha, heh. Actually, the original Piranha was pretty decent (at least better than any of the Jaws sequels), and was probably the first movie I ever saw in a theatre that had nudity, so I have some nostalgic goodwill towards it. Probably just as well that I haven’t seen it since though.