3361

Why an iron? Why not a putter or a wood?

3362

In my first apartment here in Kansas City, I needed to hang a picture in my room, and for some reason I couldnā€™t find a hammer. Apparently, three guys moved into an apartment without owning a hammer between them.

We DID, on the other hand, have a wide assortment of nunchucks. I have never had so much fun decorating!

3363

Hopefully Iā€™ll find out someday! Iā€™ve now called them six times and still havenā€™t gotten past the auto-hold after going through the automated answering system . . .

Iā€™m not too worried since the doctor said I could talk to her assistant as well. Iā€™m guessing they just want to talk about the results of the blood test, which was to check my cholesterol levels. They may want to put on a medication for it or maybe just discuss a dietary approach since Iā€™ll be back to see the doctor in two months either way.

Edit: I finally got through, but now I have to wait for them to call me back since the doctor and her assistant were both busy. Hopefully it wonā€™t take too long.

Edit Edit: finally talked to the assistant and they just want to increase the dosage on an existing medication. It wasnā€™t related to the cholesterol.

3364

Better solution: Double (or triple) wrap them in a Ziplock bag, place them behind the rear tire, and back the car over them.

3365

Very nice idea, if either of us had a car. :)

3366

Are you on the bus line?

3367

Iā€™m out here at a week long totally boring training, the only girl in the class as usual, and then I realize that I have only seen three other women since Iā€™ve been here: the receptionist and the two cafeteria workers.

I mean. There have to be other women working here, right? Right!?

3368

File a lawsuit.

3369

Theyā€™ll just hire women to follow the men aroundā€¦

3370

Maybe youā€™re the booth babe and no one told you.

3371

Dude, they are called Booth Assistants now. Get with the times, caveman.

3372

Decoration Specialists.

3373

So my ex from high school is now a mother of three with a fourth on the way. All girls so far, and today they found out theyā€™re expecting their fourth daughter. Sheā€™s unable to come up with a name just yet, so for now the placeholder on all their stuff for the impending baby is ā€œBatmanā€.

To top it off, her married name is now Gordon, so Iā€™ve informed her that if daughter 4.0 is not named Barbara, someoneā€™s doing it wrong.

Her: Barbara might be a possibility.
Me: Oh, wait, was she a surprise? Because then you could name her Spanish Inquisition Gordon. Because, you know, no one expectsā€¦
Her: I used to wonder why we broke up. And then, you speak.

I am doing my best to shout down her friends who are trying to direct her towards baby naming websites and forums, for those are the demesne of people further down the evolutionary ladder than People Of Wal-Mart.

3374

Random Game Idea: Kohan + DotA. Choose your hero, start with a basic formation of archers or footman or scouts. Later on upgrade to add flankers, support, or upgrade the front line to dragoons or heavy infantry or what have you.

3375

Something about that 3rd glass of wine always fucks wih me.

And yet I o not learn.

3376

Mexican Coca-Cola is awesome.

3377

Yeah! And itā€™s finally available outside of southern border states!

3378

Customer: But your ad said you would be selling those Wiiā€™s at 9PM! And now Iā€™m here and find out you already let other people claim them?!

Manager: Those people got here early and were in line and we only had a limited number. Even if weā€™d waited until 9PM, those people still would have been first in line and gotten them. That we did it early had no impact on whether you would have gotten one.

Customer: But thatā€™s just wrong!

I hate the holidays.

3379

OMG, Cash Cab is fake. At least we can still believe in Bang Bus.

3380

This is news?

AV Club, that ship already sailed.