6081

I love me wrong about this city,
and get everything everywhere attending the type.
Someone’s Halloween ghost imagination time.
Many kudos to the folks.

6082

News from the Swamps: AKA A Planned Community:

  1. Seems that my fridge is howling because of some issue with the freezer fan. Something that I could have had fixed if I noticed it during the walkthrough. It wasn’t making that sound then. Or it was daytime and Zuul was not present.

  2. The lovely spray hose in my new Moen sink randomly decides to stay on spray. Google gives me three different ways of fixing it. Some of which include machine oil, compressed air and sacrificing a small animal to the gods of the faucet. I like to slam it against the sink and scream at it. So far, so good.

  3. The Avalon Park website explains that the community was designed to create a true “small town feeling”. It also states that no home is more than a short walk from downtown. Well, it may be a “short walk” for some people. I’ll give them that. But for a fat 53 year old like me it’s more like a long hot walk and an ambulance ride back home. The wife concurs. That alone is a miracle.

  4. I like the way the moon sets right in front of my porch. As well, I can actually see enough stars here to pick out constellations. How do I know that? I have an app for it. Shut up.

  5. So there’s this old guy that sits out in front of his open garage in the back of our house. The way it’s set up all the garages are behind houses with a road that goes between them. You park in the back for the most part. Anyway when we get here I wave to the guy and say good morning and I’m your new neighbor. He never bats an eye. No greeting, nothing. Yet i have seen him pick up his lawn chair and close his garage. Then go in through the back door. The wife says maybe he’s deaf. Sure, okay, but I waved. And he has use of his arms and legs…

Guess he just doesn’t like me.

Anyway, I’m liking it here. Other than the haunted fridge. More later…

6083

I will never again use PowerPoint to teach. I love the feeling of chalk on my hands way too much.

6084

Has anyone ever had an English Lit professor who spends most of class time doing dramatic readings? I want to start throwing stuff at this guy.

6085

I had a math professor that would lick his fingers every time he had a thought. We calculated that he consumed an entire box of chalk in a school year.

6086

In an average year, I end up clearing several tons of leaves off of my yard (assuming leaves weigh between 1/100th and 1/20th of an ounce, a mature tree has 200,000 leaves, and I get a half of the leaves from each of the 50 or so trees around my backyard).

6087

Ha, sometimes that’s the only way to make sure the class reads the text.

6088

I hope every other teacher in the world follows suit.

6089

People still use chalk? Wow.

6090

People still use chalk. Wow?

6091

There is a lizard who lives in between our kitchen window and the outer screen. It is always in the upper right corner. Now one would think that a trapped lizard would die. But the bottom of the outside screen is bowed out at the bottom. It can leave at any time. It would seem that the bottom of the screen, being bowed out a bit, allows bugs in. I watched it today and every time a small insect got inside the screen, the lizard ate it.

I have named the lizard Eddy. And I have no problem with it being there. Every morning I wake up and as I set up the coffee maker I thank Eddy for his fine work.

6092

Eddy Lizard. I like it.

6093

Lizard heaven, it seems.

Reminds me of the geckos hanging out on the (interior) motel walls in Thailand. They would chirp and wake you up in the morning. And eat bugs.

TLDR Lizards are fine things to have in your domicile

6094

I’ve got cute little lizards running all over my pool area, climbing the screens on my sunroom, it freaked me the heck out when I moved here, now I love the little guys. Bear in mind I moved about ten miles south from my former home, no idea why lizards are so common such a short distance away.

6095

So I get up this morning and these guys are in my front yard.

visitors.jpg1024×764

The wife says they were in a tree across the street and then suddenly they were right at the window. Startled her.

As there is a hurricane skirting our east coast it has been a bit windy. I’m waiting for some irate neighbor to knock at my door demanding to know why we stole their balloons.

They are welcome to stay until the vagaries of the weather deliver them to someone else.

Edit: It is 9:33 and the balloons remain tethered to a plant on my front lawn. Having had a few drinks I start to wonder about the powers that brought them here. Why my home? Why didn’t they go away when the wind got strong in the afternoon? Why me? What are they trying to tell me? There was once three of them, but one is dead. Probably punctured by the tree. Now there are two. One is a bit saggy. Maybe a slow leak. But he still floats. The other is solid and full of gas.

I sit on my front porch and ask them why they picked my house… we have just moved in. Why us? Why? What omen do the balloons speak? What am I missing?

If I go silent, know this. I will understand the balloons! I will decode their bobbing and floating. I will understand their meaning…

6096

Does every country song have a key change?

6097

Yep, just like Rap Metal. HARD HARD soft soft HARD. Country is YEEHAW YEEHAW sad about my dog YEEHAW.

H.

6098

Stewie has it.

6099

I helped my grandma move today. I am sore. But it’s a good sore. I think it’s time for a nap now.

6100

Marry me!* Right now.

I just got my my teaching performance review. I was graded down for not using powerpoint. Fuck powerpoint. My student’s exams are great.

We don’t use chalk however, but whiteboard pens. I think chalk is indeed better.

  • I recall that you’re married. I consulted my wife and she doesn’t mind, particularly if your husband doesn’t mind walking the dog.