Wise words: my phone won’t check emails but manually, to prevent that from happening again.
Indeed. “I’ll just take a quick look,” does not end well.
I wonder if there are Smurf fetishists? Like, a Smurf says to Smurfette, I wanna smurf the smurf outta you, and she says, Smurf my smurf until I smurfing smurf, you smurfing smurf!
The problem would be that there’s 99 Smurfs and one Smurfette, so it would inevitably be a circle-smurf kind of thing. And they’d never get to the end of the line because of Gargamel and Azreal fetishists barging in seeking vore action.
Because I don’t have a Like button.
PSA: Please stop talking about “habañero” chiles. I know it feels “truthy” to say it with the ñ sound in jalapeño but it’s pronounced “habanero” with a plain old n sound. People and things from La Habana (Havana) are “habaneros” or “habaneras.”
People/things from Jalapa in Mexico are jalapeños/as because -eño is a noun formant in Spanish akin to -an as in Kansan, and -ero is the same idea but the cognate of -er as in Berliner.
Ideas for more interesting slash fiction:
Ahab/the whale
Frankenstein’s monster/the Mummy
Wolfman Jack/the Wolf Man
Partridge Family/Super Globetrotters (group action)
Mike Tyson/Barnabas Collins
Snoopy/Johnny Sokko
Not safe for any situation.
I should delete it, shouldn’t I? Kinda low of me.
Edit: Yeah. Deleted.
Probably for the best.
Did they ever catch that guy in the tubeknit sweater, btw?
Jonah/the whale
Jonah/Ahab
Hmmmmm, yes, yes indeed
Ahab met Jonah the day he sliced the whale open. Jonah was emaciated, but still strong and wiry. His clothes had been dissolved by the whale’s digestive juices. But while pasty white, he was still full of vim and vigor. He tried to hide his manhood from Ahab. But Ahab had a whaler’s vision. The harpoon he sighted was still ready to pierce and twist in…
Naw. I can’t do it. Sorry, matey.
GODDAMN YOU I NEED LIKE THREE MORE LINES DON’T YOU FUCKIN BLUE BALL ME RICHARD.
“Then Jonah got naked. And then Ahab got naked too. And then they had sex. They had like a ton of sex. And it was super romantic. And then Jonah asked to see Ahab’s lego spaceships.”
Wait, Ahab had Lego spaceships? Man, Melville had a crappy editor.
And Jonah played Magic the Gathering. It was in one of the banned books of the bible.
THAT’S BEAUTIFUL YOU GUYS
Ahab wiped the puddles of sperm whale off his face and grinned. “Now I’ll show ye my harpoon.”