Rapture insurance

Do you believe that the Rapture will happen within the next 10 years? Do you worry about what will happen to your pets when you are sent to Heaven? Worry no more, because for $110.00 this group of atheists promise to look after your pets once you’ve ascended.

From the website:

You’ve committed your life to Jesus. You know you’re saved. But when the Rapture comes what’s to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each
Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you’ve received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.

We are currently active in 20 states and growing. Our representatives have been screened to ensure that they are atheists, animal lovers, are moral / ethical with no criminal background, have the ability and desire to rescue your pet and the means to retrieve them and ensure their care for your pet’s natural life.

Found via Marginal Revolution.

Ha! Caught in a lie! There are NO moral atheists, everyone knows that.

Hell yes! Let the atheists make some money off the crazies. The crazies have made enough money off each other for far too long.

Furthermore, their notions of ‘loving animals’ is probably not what the ascended owners have in mind.

They don’t want those damned, dirty atheists putting their hands on their precious pets. Plus, I would not doubt that a good portion believe All Dogs go to Heaven and they will be Raptured right there with them.


Wait, so if Christ comes down and chooses me to ascend into the Heavens on that day of judgment, my puppy doesn’t get to come?

Man, forget that.

I’m gonna get to sinning.

AFK to go fuck some stuff*.

*Not my dog.

Religion is nuts. Confirmed again. :)

What kind of horrible god wouldn’t create a doggy heaven full of chew toys, fire hydrants and slow mail carriers?

So where can I sign up to be one of those animal loving caretakers…

do they take agnostics?

There are not any real caretakers

I am disturbed that you knew that picture even existed on the web somewhere and could go link it.

Actually, it doesn’t take much effort to find.

poor dogs.

The angel dog website/blog is a whole genre of crazy.

That and memorial sites for dead babies.

I do sympathize with the dead baby crowd a bit more though. The dead dog cult just creeps me out a bit. I bet there’s a dead cat crew too somewhere but I’ve been fortunate enough not to run into it.

Tell me about it! I always begin to tear up when I see two proud parents mourning the loss of their baby.

From the comments on the Marginal Revolution blog entry:


I’m co-owner of the pet rescue site youve been discussing.
Let me make a few comments:

  1. this is no joke… we are a serious business.

  2. yep, we have subscribers to our service.

  3. the fact we don’t believe in gods/God, rapture et al does not preclude our being wrong… thus our beief or lack of it is inconsequential.

  4. the fact that we do not expect to have to execute our contracts does not imply we are not ready willing and able. We have the infrastructure to execute them should the rapture occur.

  5. No… your pets aren’t going to heaven with you. That feel good perversion of doctrine not withstanding. The Xtian exclusionary doctrine pertaining to who gets to heaven is intolerant enough. Imagine, if it said all jews, muslims hindus pagans atheists et al, get to burn in hell, but your pet hamster and squid get salvation? Lovely.

  6. No… we are not trying to promote or justify our non-belief, or give a kinder gentler face to atheism. We are simply stating fact that non-belief does not = immorality.

Now, for the Xtians in this group… if any… buy your ten year contract this monthy, and if you don’t rapture diuring the term of the contract we will renew it for another ten years for 50% off. Beat that!

Mean while, if you’re atheist, agnostic, or skeptic, you would enjoy my new book “The Atheist Camel Chronicles” which has been receiving rave reviews on amazon and throughout the internet. Signed copies available through my website http://theatheistcamelchronicles.blogspot.com/ (USA BUYERS ONLY) , unsigned copes available on amazon.com

Yours in reason,
aka Dromedary Hump

What a brilliant idea, I wish I’d thought of this. No chance of a payout, and even if you have to, nobody’s around to pay to.

Hrm… You could charge more if you had a service that offered to check on, and potentially take over as caregivers to unraptured family members who might be otherwise left alone and unable to care for themselves in a post-Rapture world. Y’know, for that possibly retarded or autisic relation who might not be “Right” with God but who the family still loves and cares for.

Although, crazy Christian pet-lovers as a demographic probably has a higher degree of nuttiness and willingness to buy such a thing.