Relative in trouble, I need ideas to help

Yeah, families the world over work like that. >sigh<

No, they only work that way in the USA, Canada, and Europe.

I agree with the advice to talk to lawyers in the right specialty. People have talked a lot about bankruptcy help but definitely don’t forget to consult a Social Security Disability attorney also. This isn’t legal advice, but the mere fact that he was denied 20 years ago doesn’t mean he’s necessarily 100% SOL now. You need to talke to a specialist in that area and see if he has any recourse. If the fellow is truly too disabled to work, the US does have some programs to help him.

In the long run, obtaining even a minimal income stream for him may be far more important than the immediate debt crisis.

It’s easy to be merciful when you have no power. It’s easy to be generous when you’re poor. It’s easy to die when you have nothing to live for. It’s rare for the victors to feel pity for the vanquished.

Bzzt. Googling for Chinese elder abuse (I picked a random, though Confucian, ethnicity):

Yan, E. & So-Kum Tang, C.
Prevalence and Psychological Impact of Chinese Elder Abuse
Journal of Interpersonal Violence; 16 (11), 1158-1174, November 2001

In this study, 355 Hong Kong seniors (aged 65 and over) were assessed to explore the prevalence rate, interdependence issues and psychological impact of elder abuse. Researchers used the Chinese version of the Revised Conflict Tactics Scale (CTS2) to assess incidence of physical and verbal abuse and devised a subscale to measure social abuse (forced isolation, inappropriate placements, etc.). The results indicate that 21 percent of these participants had experienced at least one instance of abuse (predominantly verbal abuse) within the past year, a rate higher than previously estimated in Hong Kong. Researchers identify a number of limitations of the study and suspect that the Chinese tradition of preserving the privacy of the family may contribute to an underestimation of elder abuse.

China’s infant abandonment problem is as complex as it is disturbing. Very little data about it exists and what does is difficult to confirm. Understandably, those who are abandoning infants rarely acknowledge having done so and government bureaucracies are equally reluctant to share information about a national problem that casts them in a bad light. We do know that the problem is neither new, nor unique to China. …
Census data shows that in 1953 and 1964 China’s gender ratio was also in this range. But in the early 80’s after Deng Xiaoping introduced the infamous “One-Child” policy it began to climb. By 1981 it had risen to 108.5 and by 1990 to 114.7. When compared to 1990 census figures this amounts to 1 million fewer female births per year than normal demographic trends say there must have been, and according to some estimates, 13 million total—China’s “missing girls”. Where are they? …
What we do know is that tens of thousands and perhaps even 100,000 or more Chinese girls have been abandoned since the early 90’s. Some of these girls have perished. Many more are in orphanages hidden behind a dark curtain of national shame—unnoticed and unwanted.

It’s not just Euromericans.


My Grand Mom is awake and likely to make a full recovery. Saturday a new doctor came into the icu took an interest in her case. To make a long story short, even though all the symptoms said that she had a stroke and he vital signs we showing that she had only a day or so left, the tests weren’t matching them. The doctor discovered that she had recently changed her thyroid medicine and it pushed her into a state of continuous seizure. The doctor gave her an anti-seizure and switched back to the original thyroid medicine and she woke up right away with no apparent side effects.

As for my Uncle, we are still going to get him taken care of. Hopefully seeing a disability lawyer this week.

And start re-arranging what is in whose names! Also make sure a solid will is in place. It sucks to think about these things, but it sucks much worse to not have them when the time comes.

Having his name on all the assets might be a problem. You might want to discuss that with a lawyer too. If his Disability goes through as a re-opening of the original claim, they might owe him a lot of money. Investment counseling wouldn’t hurt if that happens. He needs to be setup to afford the eventual passing of his Mom.

Wow, not everybody gets a do-over. Best not f-- it up.