Resident Evil: do we really need the last three quarters?

Resident Evil. Meh. CG monster in a box. Zombies zombies zombies. Michelle Rodriguez snarling. That old trick of cutting people up with a microfilament/laser grid is as old as Saturn 3. A game of ‘who’s the traitor?’, anyone? Jovovich vs. zombie dogs is pretty cool, I suppose, but man, shouldn’t someone have told her not to wear those boots with that dress? Milla, honey, I even know that’s a no-no and I’m straight.

Although it wouldn’t have been Resident Evil, I would have much rather seen more of the first part of the movie, when the computer takes over the research facility and starts drowning, gassing, and mutilating the inhabitants to contain an errant virus. This will sound morbidly weird, but after 9/11, there was something creepy and resonant seeing normal people in ties and business suits whose workplace is turned into a deathtrap. Particularly haunting was the people in the stuck elevator who hear the sound of screaming overhead – then whoosing past them – the receding below them – then silent – as the adjacent elevator plummets to the bottom of the shaft.

Also disturbing was the people trapped in the glass lab who can’t shut the sprinklers off and realize they’re in an airtight container that will fill up with water. That stuff was far scarier than any of the super-commando goofiness that ensued.


Yeah, I liked that too. It made me think of that similar scene in Half-Life.

You’re kidding. The movie was crap standard hollywood fare until the damned annoying movie characters were diced up by the laser. THEN it became a frickin resident evil movie. Then it was neat.

You forgot to mention the soundtrack. And I’m not talking about the one released on cd with a bunch of crap metal songs that were never included in the movie. The film music was bloody amazing.

I rather liked the movie. I wasn’t expecting much beyond the low standards set by the video game series, and any movie that begins and ends with Milla naked is probably ok in the aggregate.

I will agree that by far the most intriguing parts were at the beginning, with the claustrophobic environment gone mad. I have reasonably high hopes for the sequel, though…the wrecked outerworld/missing science team bodes well, I think. Hopefully they won’t get sent down a Code Veronica bizarro gender thing or something.

The Resident Evil flick is a guilty pleasure of mine. Stupid as all hell, but I still like to watch it.

The movie got a bad review from me because of the pacing, which I thought was horrible. I’ve never been a fan of movies that start great then become less interesting with seemingly every moment that goes by. I did like the beginning. I liked everything right up to the point where Milla dons that weird-ass outfit and goes with the commandoes down into the pipes. Then it was just shock effects.

-disclaimer. I don’t remember much of the latter stages of the movie, because I wasn’t interested at that point, so I can’t comment on the various zombie dogs or foozles or music.-

Hmmmm, Milla!! Another guilty pleasure is, dare I say it?, The Fifth Element!

Yeah, but the Fifth Element was a fun movie. A very original take on the space/sci-fi genre, kickass costuming, and plenty of laughs. It was utter fluff, but GOOD fluff.

Resident Evil didn’t have any redeeming characteristics, save Milla. And she’s hot, but she’s not enough to carry the dead weight of a boring movie.

She is when they accidentally include a beaver shot in the last five minutes of the movie. Rowr.

Much like Pirates of the Caribbean.

Accidential? Hah!

Much like Pirates of the Caribbean.[/quote]

Precisely. Except Pirates had some genuinely good acting and an impressive number of plot twists. Maybe I’m a simpleton, but for a second there, I honestly thought Sparrow was joining forces with Barbosa.

Best film I’ve seen in the last 4 months, hands down.

Oh come on… you do realise that Resident Evil is a movie made out of a game right? So stand it up to the likes of other movies of the same style and you’ll see it was actually pretty good. I mean, Street fighter… mortal combat… tomb raider? how good were they? About the only thing that could’ve made Res a bit better… (and would have had me pissing myself laughing)
Is this.

“What’s… that?”
“I hope… that’s not… Chris’ Blood”