Ring systems hacked

I’m starting to really think that the eternal quest for “convenience” is ultimately going to be what wipes out western civilization.

Parents are negligent here. WTF camera on your 8 year old?

Picked up a Ring Doorbell 2 at Costco and got it set up today. Pretty easy, hardwiring it into the existing doorbell wiring.

I will say that the Ring Neighborhood app is an amazing app to fuel crime paranoia. Seriously, I’m looking at it at there are 9 crime reports in the past month! But then I check them all and every single one is a porch pirate. I also realize that my “neighborhood” is a 3-mile circumference around my house. That’s 28.25-square miles of fairly dense suburbia.

My building has separate front doors for each unit, sharing the same porch (not uncommon in San Francisco). The most recent buyers installed smart everything, including a Ring, which they had mounted to look from the side across all three doors. This means they can monitor all my visitors in addition to their own. I don’t like it one bit.

There needs to be a variant of the Ring doorbell where the real-time video feed you see is filtered into grainy B&W, images of your porch and interspersed with burning trees, maggots, television static, ladders, chairs, and people jumping off cliffs into the rocky surf below.

Just mount this to your door at a 90 degree angle, have the feeding tube hooked up to a pump that’s on a 10 min timer and utilize a 5 gallon bucket for the resevoir. I think they’ll the get message.

HUGE NSFW, LIKE DON'T EVEN PEEK

Don’t say I didn’t warn you

No, don’t doooo ittt

5 people just couldn’t help themselves so far.

(It’s really not that bad)

After reading that, I was so intrigued that I HAD to click the link. “Feeding tube” along with the rest of what you wrote had me envisioning a dummy on a hospital bed throwing up into a 5 gallon bucket every 10 minutes.

Then I clicked the link.
I prefer the image I had envisioned, even though it would be a lot more expensive. :-/

THAT might actually be better b/c after I wrote what I did, I couldn’t help but think it’s just going to make a mess and you need to have it recycled somehow so while they get the glorious image burned into their ring, it doesn’t create a walking hazard.

ER Doc: “And how did you break your arm?”
John_Many_Jars: “Well see, I have this giant dildo mounted next to my front door, and since we weren’t recycling the… er, stuff, this resulted in a deadly semen build-up on the sidewalk, and—”
ER Doc: “Wait, wait. A giant what?”
John_Many_Jars: Dildo. See, my neighbor has this Ring system, and the way he–"
ER Doc: “Ring…system?”
John_Many_Jars: “Yeah. And it’s pointed right at me! So that’s why I installed it.”
ER Doc: “…”
John_Many_Jars: “And so I slipped and fell.”

ER Doc: “…”
John_Many_Jars: “…”
ER Doc: “…”
John_Many_Jars: “…”
ER Doc: