Really? You think guys like Bourdain sit down with a notepad and make a list of reasons to kill myself vs reasons not to? And today he just happened to have one more reason to die so I guess today’s the day?
Not sure why his process or lack thereof is relevant to my judgment that it was a stupid selfish thing to do.
I’m not sure why judgment is required here.
The thing about depression is that, in the moment, it can really seem quite clear that suicide would be best for the people around you and that everyone would actually be better off without you. When you do the math, so to speak, that’s how the numbers seem to add up.
So goddamn sad.
I went out with a girl whose dad purposely overdosed on his diabetes medicine. So many years later and I could still see the pain in her eyes.
A couple of years ago (right when we went to Discourse I remember because I didn’t bother verifying my email because I didn’t see the point) I was at a very dark place and honestly it was remembering that girl’s pain which prevented me from doing anything. It was just not anything I wanted to burden my son with for the rest of his life.
So I was kinda surprised when I saw the age of his daughter. Poor girl.
This.
Yes, suicide is a completely selfish and stupid thing to do. Anger about it is a perfectly reasonable, rational response. But severe depression impacts the judgment center. You know how people do stupid, horrible stuff when they’re drunk or high? Similar, except nobody chooses to drink deep of depression or pop suicidal ideation pills.
So be pissed, but it’s also appropriate to be sad and compassionate for the memory of a person who couldn’t overcome their demons.
Damn, this sucks. And finding out he has an 11-year-old daughter makes it suck even more. But stuff like that doesn’t matter when you are suffering from a depression, sadly… In those cases, nothing matters.
So why are you judging?
Suicide is, by definition, a selfish act. The effect it will have on your loved ones can’t be ignored. That doesn’t mean the person who commits suicide is evil or anything, they obviously had some demons brewing inside them.
I loved Bourdain’s shows, but I couldn’t finish Kitchen Confidential.
So very sad. :(
Shut up. Just shut up. You have no idea what you’re talking about here.
You, too.
Neither of you have any idea what you’re talking about. Just shut it down, and walk away from this thread.
As long as we’re making suggestions, mine would be that you eat a dick.
It’s sad to think of an 11 year old trying to deal with this. She’s old enough to understand the weight of what her father did, but not mature enough to empathize with why he might have done it. I wish her well and hope she gets the emotional support that she will surely need to come out of this okay.
It seems that you have a lot invested in this. You might take your own advice and leave it alone. Not meaning to be snarky here, very serious.
I do. And I don’t like a lot of self-righteous headloss leaders loudly and proudly announcing judgement on someone who’s committed suicide. Think of it this way: it’s like loudly and proudly announcing that being a queer is a deliberate choice and is selfish and stupid.
This isn’t TV show honorable seppuku bullshit. This is a miserable human being driven to take their own life.
So shove it your ass, Stusser. And pray you’re never in that situation where you’re staring up a hole and can’t for the life of you see the light at the end of it.
What’s a headloss leader?
It’s possible to be more than one thing. Bourdain was a brilliant voice that I enjoyed and thought of as a voice of sanity, and his actions were selfish and stupid and not sane, and he was obviously damaged in some way that wasn’t external, or visible even to his friends.
That’s a lot of the cognitive dissonance on my side. It just doesn’t seem like something he would do. But I never met the man, and I wasn’t his friend, I just read his books, and interviews, and watched his TV shows. And even his friends didn’t see whatever caused him to do this.
The Bourdain voice I knew, which obviously was a mask at some level, would call his own actions selfish and stupid. He was blunt, honest, and pragmatic.
I don’t think I pronounced judgement on him. I am sure he had his reasons, and I will never understand that. But that doesn’t ameliorate the effect his act had on others.
And what’s a “headloss leader”?
I think this story above might be is a reflection of this article
The interesting thing is, while I wonder at what drives a person to kill themselves like this, I also struggle with deep depression, and anxiety. A lot of the luster I used to feel for life has eroded away, and sometimes not sure what the point is. I still could never imagine killing myself. Whatever the solutions are for overcoming despair, its pretty clear that mainstream medicine is not up to the task.
A recent university study has shown that farmers (mostly of the midwestern variety) have 5 times higher suicide rates that the general population. The study points out the economic uncertainties of farming and the midwests reliance on certain crops, unlike other areas which have more opportunities for different crops.