But let’s say I’m suicidal and I’m your friend and I call you. Would you tell me I’m being selfish then too?
I can respect that stance, it makes complete sense and rational to feel that way. On the other side though, I feel like everyone becomes the victim in a suicide.
You can ask for help, but clearly the right solutions are not matured yet, based on the CDC studies.
My father died a miserable death of colon cancer, at the end no longer himself/lucid and licking remotes and thinking it was ice cream. I could understand if he had wanted to not go the way he had.
So, I do think there is a question of quality of life. If someone is terminal, cant they seek the only relief available? If that is true, and if someone has asked for help and tried the treatments out there, why not have equal sympathy for mental conditions that even has less treatment/options?
I get wanting to be angry with the loss of a loved one, and its true everyone else is a victim in that situation, but so was the person that felt that was the only option.
I think most people are afraid to reach out when they are in despair, because most people don’t know how to handle it. I tried to open up, but my wife, left me because my despair was too much for her to deal with. We had a great marriage till I hit my wall, then she’s became ex, because it was too much for her. I think I’m almost more comfortable opening up with strangers because, there is no vested relationship to lose. My daughter has no idea of my challenges, but she’s 17 (shes just reorienting herself) and a unfair burden to put onto her (though I think she may suspect it at some level based on the other changes in me). I’m obligated to stick in there now anyway, since her mom passed in a car accident.
Well everyone who is connected to that person, including the person we lost. I think some believe or approach suicide as a solo act when the consequence of that choice is so far reaching and in some cases, almost permanent (for the survivors).
Anger is usually a secondary emotion. I would say hurt is most likely the underlining emotion, the deep sorrow and the wondering if something else could have been done.
I don’t think people reach out enough, but I also agree we’re not really sure how to react when they do. Acting “perfectly” could still lead to the same result so it’s important to try and not own someone else’s actions like that.
As for Anthony Bourdain, my first reaction was anger, for his family. My second reaction is just sorrow all around. That will be the last emotion. I’m sorry he felt that low that desperate, and sorrowful those closest to him, like his family, like his daughter, will bear the brunt of that, perhaps for the rest of their lives and maybe then some.
You can feel sorrow for everyone involved and still describe the act as selfish.Saying it is selfish does not automatically mean there is any sort of lasting anger.
Yes I’ve moved to sorrow. Like I tried to explain earlier, a lot of it was how much I identified with the mask he presented to the world, his voice sounded like my inner monologue, pragmatic, kind, and snarky. And sane.
This is certainly not a swell time to be losing sane public figures who emphasize the interconnectedness and common humanity of people around the world.
Agree with the other stuff, but he demonstrably was not sane.
Being the voice of sanity and being sane are two completely different things…
Ahh. True 'dat.
RIP Bourdain, your voice will be missed.
But also nuts to you, those of you forgiving and dismissing this selfish act. And fuck you especially, David Foster Wallace.
My best friend committed suicide. It robbed the world of him and absolutely broke his mother. Destroyed her. It scattered his friends to the wind. I will never forget the bright soul I knew looking waxy and lifeless in his casket, the sorrow and anger and shock.
Suicidal is a cowardly, selfish, demeaning act that destroys your legacy. Every so often I look at my life’s experiences and think “you missed ALL of this, buddy”. I can’t condem and demean it enough, and I spit on the cowards, including Bourdain, that commit it. No excuse. Selfish and cowardly.
We may have come a long way with understanding of mental health issues. Sadly, we clearly still have a long way to go.
As someone who has, in the past, attempted suicide. Twice. Am I allowed to speak on this? Or am I just jerking off?
Yeah. Also the people who die of cancer. Incredibly stupid and selfish.
If nothing else, at least watch the third clip.
Not equivalent … at all. And frankly, shame on you for making that analogy.
Bullshit.
Someone dying after fighting cancer versus someone dying after fighting depression.
In neither case are they selfish.
One is a choice, a selfish choice, and one is not. If you don’t see the difference you have never known anyone who has killed themselves and are talking out of your ass, sorry.
A loooooong way to go.
No. Actually it isn’t. That’s the fucking point. The only person I see being selfish here is actually you. Someone succumbs to a disease, and your thought is what they did to you. Not what they went through, or what it might be to be fighting a disease which is using your own mind against you. Nope, what it meant for you.
So, yeah. Fuck that. People who die from depression aren’t selfish any more than someone who dies from any other disease. They are victims.
And yeah, when people die, the people they leave behind hurt. Doesn’t matter why.
You don’t die of depression. Depression is not fatal. Take your armchair medical diagnosis and go think real hard about the difference between cancer and depression. They are in no way equivalent.
I’m trying to be polite here but your viewpoint is frankly idiotic.
Suicide is about me, me, me, me, the pinnacle of selfishness. It’s not the inevitable result of depression.
I’m not trying to be polite. I think you are profoundly lacking in empathy, and are a self-centered ass. The irony is palpable.