"Rise of Nations I simply superb." says Gameplay

I found out who received that exclusive first review that PCG, CGW, and CGM: A Steve Bauman Simulation are always hot on the trail of. UK based internet site Gameplay snagged it, that’s who.

No typos in this thread’s title. A colon or comma may have been in order, however.

Rise of Nations I simply superb.

Evidently this is only the first in a series of Rise of Nations games according to this scoop from Smailio. Again he mentions that this is only the beginning:

Owing to the pedigree of the producers behind RON I was certainly looking forward to putting the game through its paces, and as always I dived straight into the cesspool of world domination via the now obligatory Campaign mode.

Some of the sentence structure is a bit confusing. I am owing that to cultural differences and I am also owing that to the reviewer being able to speak the King’s English fluently rather than the obligatory slum dialect we speak here in the now obligatory U.S. of A.

From calming, oriental melodies to pumping African war songs and even Epic sounding accompaniments that would not sound out of place during one of Gladiators more touching moments.

I am not sure if he is describing the game or if he is recounting a Kirk Douglas/Tony Curtis fantasy.

Its almost like Microsoft has literally created a Frankenstein (and I wouldn’t put it past them) made purely from parts of other games. Only this is no monster, it is truly a superb example of how to make an excellent strategy game that has tremendous scope, but never becomes vague or uninspiring.

A literal Frankenstein. That was my favorite. I would not put anything past those crazy so and so’s in Redmond either sir. I surely would not.

To quote Forman: “Top drawer. Top…drawer”

I smell box copy:

“Cesspool of world domination” -Gameplay

I also liked this random bold faced sentence inserted in the middle of the review:

Da doo ron ron ron

I’d call it a subhead, but usually when you break an article into subsections, you want to have more than one.

Sarcasm alert! :D

Nice breakdown, Tyjenks.

I suppose someone should tell the poor reviewer to brush up on his Shelley, too.

I expect much of this treatment from my legion of fans once my belated GalCiv review goes up at our site. Is it possible this guy had a negative amount of copy-editors?

I might have heard of the site before, but it looks relatively organized and professional. Helping to starting a review site of my own has made me appreciate the difficulties and time needed to do so. Is the abundance of review sites at such a critical level that any monkey with a PC can now “literally” write reviews?

So they created a game that’s going to build a monster?

Your Power Pill

They’re a shop, not a review site as such.

They’re a shop, not a review site as such.[/quote]

Aha. Thanks. I still do not see how a review that poor gets put on any sort of professional/bussiness site. A customer review would make sense, but that guy received a preview copy and was then asked or even paid to write that to help sell products.

If he got paid for it, I’m sending them my CV in the morning. At least I can transcribe a game’s

View to a Kill

title without screwing up.

Interestingly, the page seems to have disappeared now.

I can’t look at the title of this thread anymore. I keep thinking of “I Claudius” every time I see it. Who names anything “the First”???

“I Rise of Nations am no Empire Earth dear citizens of Quarter to Three.”

Or maybe Asimov’s “Robot, I”…I think that’s the name of it.

I can’t look at the title of this thread anymore. I keep thinking of “I Claudius” every time I see it. Who names anything “the First”???

Heh. I thought the “I” was an “is” :-) Or is that “is an is”? :?


I think its his carat, frozen for all time, like a mosquito in amber. One day, scientists will extract its DNA and construct an entire theme park in honour of the first Rise of Nations web review.