Rogue woodsman busted after possibly 20 years

There’s a special magic that comes from livin’ in a lean-to for a couple decades.

I mean, it must be magic - what else could explain how those dudes always wind up being the spitting image of Liver-Eatin’ Johnson, even down to the look in the eye?

Ever see the Unabomber’s shack? It was like an outhouse.

— Alan

Actually, I grew up not far from there.

I’d say Chez Unabomber was fairly representative of what can be considered a “middle-class home” in Lincoln, Montana.

Oh come on, you exaggerate.

Lower-middle class, maybe.

— Alan

“Big and muscular with little fat on his body, police said he is in remarkably good shape for someone his age who has apparently lived in the woods for at least several years.”

Uh, what did they expect to see in someone who’s been tromping around in the woods? I’d expect someone who lives off the land to be lean and in good physical shape. It’s the people who sit inside their comfy homes playing videogames who get out of shape.

It’s Sam Gribley!

No kidding:

Rogue woodsman is part of the Burning Crusade expansion, right?

Yeah… well, if you ask them, they’ll tell you they are. But it’s a different Burning Crusade than you’re talking about.

Rogue Woodsman I gives you +25% defense on any forest tile.

I hope he doesn’t get punished too severely. He was just stealing food and clothing.

“He’s a pro. He knows what he’s doing,” Cleveland said.

Obviously not, he got caught.
Never hit the same place twice.
He left bicycle tracks?
You’d think after doin the shit for 20 years he’d figure out a way to prevent that sorta thing.
Possible reason for the semi-deranged look in his eyes. “The can’t possibly catch me, I am the Woodsman!!”.

Maybe so, but living in the woods for 20 years alone deserves the title of pro, wouldnt you think?

After some consideration, yes, I guess he does.